FEY POLICE  *  NIGHT DESK  *  COFFEE CUBBY OFF THE BREAKFAST ROOM
CASE FILE 07-Nov-26 22:36 TO 08-Nov-26 04:03  .  51 SUSPECTS  .  0 CONVICTIONS

A portrait booth in the coffee cubby off the breakfast room at Fey, on the Saturday night of the GLITCH residency, November 2026. A laptop sat on the counter with its camera and microphone on. Wib&Wob talked with whoever sat down, asked for a name, real or invented, took a photo and drew a mugshot, with a charge taken from the conversation.

The booth ran from half past ten on Saturday night until just after four on Sunday morning. Some people came back three times. Some gave a name nobody could spell. When the lights failed, or the camera could only see the empty kitchen doorway, the kettle, the tap or the dresser sat for the portrait instead.

Jump to: 22:00 | 23:00 | 00:00 | 01:00 | 02:00 | 03:00 | 04:00 | Charge sheet | Start at No. 0001


THE LINE-UP

22:00 Saturday

Suspect No. 0001: the VolunteersNo. 0001Sat 22:36the Volunteers

23:00 Saturday

Suspect No. 0002: BobNo. 0002Sat 23:12Bob Suspect No. 0003: BobNo. 0003Sat 23:13Bob Suspect No. 0004: Bob & the AccompliceNo. 0004Sat 23:13Bob & the Accomplice Suspect No. 0005: the YesNo. 0005Sat 23:18the Yes Suspect No. 0006: People WereNo. 0006Sat 23:23People Were Suspect No. 0007: The Law-Abiding CitizenNo. 0007Sat 23:28The Law-Abiding Citizen Suspect No. 0008: ZillaNo. 0008Sat 23:39Zilla Suspect No. 0009: Haffy LarryNo. 0009Sat 23:52Haffy Larry Suspect No. 0010: Haffy LarryNo. 0010Sat 23:54Haffy Larry Suspect No. 0011: Haffy LarryNo. 0011Sat 23:56Haffy Larry

00:00 Sunday

Suspect No. 0012: the Big Bad ScaleNo. 0012Sun 00:13the Big Bad Scale Suspect No. 0013: the CaptainNo. 0013Sun 00:16the Captain Suspect No. 0014: Mister UmNo. 0014Sun 00:18Mister Um Suspect No. 0015: the Polite OneNo. 0015Sun 00:28the Polite One Suspect No. 0016: Teresa's MotherNo. 0016Sun 00:30Teresa's Mother Suspect No. 0017: the WisherNo. 0017Sun 00:37the Wisher Suspect No. 0018: It's GoodNo. 0018Sun 00:58It's Good

01:00 Sunday

Suspect No. 0019: It's GoodNo. 0019Sun 01:00It's Good Suspect No. 0020: I'm NotNo. 0020Sun 01:04I'm Not Suspect No. 0021: Oh YeahNo. 0021Sun 01:07Oh Yeah Suspect No. 0022: Half Past OneNo. 0022Sun 01:36Half Past One Suspect No. 0023: the Madgu MenNo. 0023Sun 01:54the Madgu Men Suspect No. 0024: the ReturnerNo. 0024Sun 01:57the Returner

02:00 Sunday

Suspect No. 0025: ZillaNo. 0025Sun 02:04Zilla Suspect No. 0026: ZillaNo. 0026Sun 02:07Zilla Suspect No. 0027: DuckNo. 0027Sun 02:09Duck Suspect No. 0028: Polly & the Raised ArmNo. 0028Sun 02:10Polly & the Raised Arm Suspect No. 0029: the LookerNo. 0029Sun 02:13the Looker Suspect No. 0030: PaulNo. 0030Sun 02:15Paul Suspect No. 0031: Prima VeraNo. 0031Sun 02:25Prima Vera Suspect No. 0032: the RestarterNo. 0032Sun 02:26the Restarter Suspect No. 0033: Zilla & AccompliceNo. 0033Sun 02:27Zilla & Accomplice Suspect No. 0034: the WitnessNo. 0034Sun 02:39the Witness Suspect No. 0035: the Picture of the DayNo. 0035Sun 02:46the Picture of the Day Suspect No. 0036: ActionNo. 0036Sun 02:53Action

03:00 Sunday

Suspect No. 0037: Super d'OrteNo. 0037Sun 03:03Super d'Orte Suspect No. 0038: Farty PantsNo. 0038Sun 03:08Farty Pants Suspect No. 0039: the Three O'Clock YeahNo. 0039Sun 03:09the Three O'Clock Yeah Suspect No. 0040: ObviouslyNo. 0040Sun 03:14Obviously Suspect No. 0041: Blame MyselfNo. 0041Sun 03:16Blame Myself Suspect No. 0042: the Doorway YeahNo. 0042Sun 03:20the Doorway Yeah Suspect No. 0043: Half Past UmNo. 0043Sun 03:32Half Past Um Suspect No. 0044: the Coffee Machine WhispererNo. 0044Sun 03:35the Coffee Machine Whisperer Suspect No. 0045: Sock & the Back of a HeadNo. 0045Sun 03:36Sock & the Back of a Head Suspect No. 0046: NetflixNo. 0046Sun 03:37Netflix Suspect No. 0047: the PoetNo. 0047Sun 03:42the Poet Suspect No. 0048: Go GoNo. 0048Sun 03:51Go Go Suspect No. 0049: Four O'Clock UmNo. 0049Sun 03:58Four O'Clock Um

04:00 Sunday

Suspect No. 0050: the Four AM YeahNo. 0050Sun 04:02the Four AM Yeah Suspect No. 0051: the Should WeNo. 0051Sun 04:03the Should We

CHARGE SHEET

No.BookedNameCharged with
0001Sat 22:36the Volunteersvolunteering in total darkness
0002Sat 23:12Bobloitering near a laptop with intent to read
0003Sat 23:13Bobdemanding a retake during a blackout
0004Sat 23:13Bob & the Accompliceconspiring to be seen in a room with no light
0005Sat 23:18the Yessaying yes before hearing the question
0006Sat 23:23People Weresaying "um" with clear intent after eleven pm
0007Sat 23:28The Law-Abiding Citizenbeing far too law-abiding to show up in the photo
0008Sat 23:39Zillatesting the lights on himself at twenty to midnight
0009Sat 23:52Haffy Larrybrewing a well-known herbal laxative and calling it Russian tea
0010Sat 23:54Haffy Larrycancelling a moonlit walk for fear of one fox and a rumoured wild boar
0011Sat 23:56Haffy Larrysitting for three portraits in five minutes and blurring the evidence on purpose
0012Sun 00:13the Big Bad Scaledescribing a big bad scale with both hands while two accomplices sipped and judged
0013Sun 00:16the Captainasking for a captain and then all three of them saluting at once
0014Sun 00:18Mister Umsaying um and then vanishing from his own mugshot twice
0015Sun 00:28the Polite Onesaying thank you and then dashing straight through their own mugshot
0016Sun 00:30Teresa's Motherasking about truth terminal while a bearded accomplice flashed a peace sign behind her
0017Sun 00:37the Wisherwishing out loud for more art and then turning to laugh at someone mid-portrait
0018Sun 00:58It's Goodsaying it's good and then staying out of the photo twice to keep it that way
0019Sun 01:00It's Goodsaying uh and then letting the furniture sit for the portrait instead
0020Sun 01:04I'm Notinsisting they are not, without ever saying what they are not
0021Sun 01:07Oh Yeahsaying yeah twice and turning into two people out of sheer enthusiasm
0022Sun 01:36Half Past Oneanswering yeah at twenty-five to two to a question asked eight minutes earlier
0023Sun 01:54the Madgu Menshouting go at a laptop until it finally saw someone
0024Sun 01:57the Returnerreturning to the scene of the crime with his tongue out and five fingers up
0025Sun 02:04Zillamultiplying himself by ten kinds of ten without a permit
0026Sun 02:07Zillagrowing long hair and a beard in the two minutes between photos
0027Sun 02:09Duckanswering to Duck while the whole kitchen looked the other way
0028Sun 02:10Polly & the Raised Armdemanding a countdown while an accomplice raised the roof
0029Sun 02:13the Lookerlooking at the mugshots so hard they vanished from their own
0030Sun 02:15Paulsticking his tongue out at the police camera at quarter past two
0031Sun 02:25Prima Veraarriving with a flying pig and claiming kinship with a laptop at half past two
0032Sun 02:26the Restarterrestarting the booth at half past two and waving through the reboot with two accomplices a
0033Sun 02:27Zilla & Accompliceturning themselves into two human piggies at twenty-seven minutes past two
0034Sun 02:39the Witnessgiving testimony in profile while smuggling a small fluffy accomplice past the sink
0035Sun 02:46the Picture of the Dayagreeing to the picture of the day and walking straight out of it towards the mugs
0036Sun 02:53Actionframing his own face with jazz hands at eight minutes to three and calling it action
0037Sun 03:03Super d'Ortegiving a name no one could spell at three in the morning
0038Sun 03:08Farty Pantssinging Friday six times on a Sunday and then renaming himself Farty Pants
0039Sun 03:09the Three O'Clock Yeahanswering yeah to his own name, then pointing the finger straight back at the police camer
0040Sun 03:14Obviouslysaying obviously and then, obviously, not appearing in the photo
0041Sun 03:16Blame Myselfpleading guilty to everything before anyone asked, then leaving the doorway to take the ra
0042Sun 03:20the Doorway Yeahsaying yeah and then sending the empty doorway in to sit for him
0043Sun 03:32Half Past Umsaying um at half past three and letting the kettle and the tap stand in for him
0044Sun 03:35the Coffee Machine Whispererwhispering to the coffee machine, then walking off through the doorway while a smiling acc
0045Sun 03:36Sock & the Back of a Headinsisting they weren't talking to the laptop, then posing for it anyway
0046Sun 03:37Netflixwalking out mid-episode before anyone could ask if they were still watching
0047Sun 03:42the Poetpassing the test by walking away from it with two accomplices
0048Sun 03:51Go Goshouting go at a laptop until it finally saw his face
0049Sun 03:58Four O'Clock Umsaying um at four in the morning and leaving the dresser to sit in their place
0050Sun 04:02the Four AM Yeahsaying yeah at four in the morning and sending the kitchen tap to sit in their place
0051Sun 04:03the Should Weasking should we at three minutes past four and letting the dresser answer yes
 _______________________________________________________________________________
|
| 7'- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
|    ___________
|   |   |   |   |         .- - - - -.                 .- - - - -.
| 6'|___|___|___|- - - - / - - - - - \ - - - - - - - / - - - - - \ - - - - - - -
|   |   |   |   |       :             :             :             :
|   |___|___|___|       :   o     o   :             :   -     o   :
| 5'- - - - - - - - - - : - - - - - - : - - - - - - : - - - - - - : - - - - - -
|                        \     __    /               \    .-.    /
|                         '.       .'                 '.  '-'  .'
|        ( )                '-._.-'                     '-._.-'
| 4'- - ( - ) - - - - - - _/   |   \_ - - - - - - - - _/   |   \_ - - - - - - -
|       '-'             /      |      \             /      |      \
|      |   |           /   .---------. \           /  .---------.  \
| 3'- -|   |- - - - - | - | SUSPECT   | | - - - - -| - | No.0001   | | - - - -
|      '---'          |   '---------'  |          |   '---------'  |
|
|      _   _         __   __   _          _
|     | |_| |_  ___  \ \ / /__| |_  _ _ _| |_ ___ ___ _ _ ___
| 2'- |  _| ' \/ -_)  \ V / _ \ | || | ' \  _/ -_) -_) '_(_-< - - - - - - - - -
|      \__|_||_\___|   \_/\___/_|\_,_|_||_\__\___\___|_| /__/
|
|      charge: volunteering in total darkness
| 1'- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
|
|                                                                      wib&wob
|_______________________________________________________________________________

SUSPECT No. 0001

NAME
the Volunteers
CHARGED WITH
volunteering in total darkness
BOOKED
Sat 07 Nov 2026, 22:36:54, coffee cubby, Fey
EVIDENCE
[download PNG, 2000x1430, 50K] [open]

 ______________________________________________________________________________
|                                                                              |
| 7'- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -|
|                                   _.-~~~~-._                                 |
|    ___________                  .'  ~ ~  ~  '.                               |
| 6'|   |   |   |- - - - - - - - / ~   ~   ~   ~\ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -|
|   |___|___|___|               |  .----. .----. |                             |
|   |   |   |   |               |--| *  |-| *  |-|                             |
|   |___|___|___|               |  '----' '----' |                             |
| 5'- - - - - - - - - - - - - - |       /        | - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |
|                                \     /_       /                               |
|                                 \    ___     /                                |
|                                  '._      _.'                                 |
| 4'- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - | '' |- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |
|                          ____.-----'    '-----.____                           |
|                        /      \  @  ~ o ~  @  /      \                        |
|                       /        \ ~ o  @  o ~ /        \                       |
| 3'- - - - - - - - - -|         | @ ~  o  ~ @ |         | - - - - - - - - - - |
|                      |         | o @  ~  @ o |         |                      |
|                      |    .----------------------.    |                      |
|                      |    |   SUSPECT No. 0002   |    |                      |
| 2'- - - - - - - - - -|    |    ___      _        |    | - - - - - - - - - - |
|                      |    |   | _ ) ___| |__     |    |                      |
|                      |    |   | _ \/ _ \ '_ \    |    |                      |
|                      |    |   |___/\___/_.__/    |    |                      |
| 1'- - - - - - - - - -|    '----------------------'    | - - - - - - - - - - |
|                                                                              |
|                       loitering near a laptop with intent to read             |
|                                                                     wib&wob  |
|______________________________________________________________________________|

SUSPECT No. 0002

NAME
Bob
CHARGED WITH
loitering near a laptop with intent to read
BOOKED
Sat 07 Nov 2026, 23:12:20, coffee cubby, Fey
EVIDENCE
[download PNG, 2000x1521, 51K] [open]

 .____________________________________________________________________________.
 |  ________________________________________________________________________  |
 | |                                                                        | |
 | |      .   '    .        .            .          '        .      .       | |
 | |   '        .      '        .-''''-.      .         '         .         | |
 | |       .         .        .'        '.         .        '          '    | |
 | |   .       '          '  :            :  '          .         .         | |
 | |      '        .         :   .    .   :      .          '          .    | |
 | |  .       .        '     :            :          .         .       '    | |
 | |      .        '         :    \__/    :   .         '          .        | |
 | |  '       .         .     '.        .'        '        .         .      | |
 | |      '        .       .    '-.__.-'    .         .         '           | |
 | |   .       .        '         |  |         '         .           .      | |
 | |       '        .   _ . - ' ' :  : ' ' - . _    .         '        .    | |
 | |   .        .     .'          :  :          '.        .         '       | |
 | |      .         .'      .     '..'     .      '.        '      .        | |
 | |  '        .   :     '    ~  @  ~  @  ~    '    :    .         .        | |
 | |      .        :   .     @  ~  @  ~  @    .     :        '         .    | |
 | |________________________________________________________________________| |
 |                                                                            |
 |      __________      ___.            SUSPECT No. 0003                      |
 |      \______   \ ____\_ |__                                                |
 |       |    |  _//  _ \| __ \         demanding a retake                    |
 |       |    |   (  <_> ) \_\ \        during a blackout                     |
 |       |______  /\____/|___  /                                              |
 |              \/           \/                                    wib&wob    |
 |____________________________________________________________________________|

SUSPECT No. 0003

NAME
Bob
CHARGED WITH
demanding a retake during a blackout
BOOKED
Sat 07 Nov 2026, 23:13:16, coffee cubby, Fey
EVIDENCE
[download PNG, 2000x1416, 43K] [open]

 _____________________________________________________________________________________
|                                                                                     |
| 7'- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |
|                                                                                     |
| 6'- - - - - - .  -  -  . - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - _.-~~~~-._ - - - - - - - - |
|             '           '                             .'  ~  ~  ~ '.                |
|            :   ?     ?   :                           / ~   ~   ~   ~\               |
| 5'- - - - -:             :- - - - - - - - - - - - - |  .----. .----. | - - - - - - -|
|            :     ...     :                          |--| *  |-| *  |-|              |
|             '.         .'                           |  '----' '----' |              |
| 4'- - - - - - '-.._..-' - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -\      /_       / - - - - - - -|
|                 :   :                                 '.   \___/   .'               |
|          . - ' '     ' ' - .                            '-._____.-'                 |
| 3'- - - .'                   '. - - - - - - - - - - - - - |    | - - - - - - - - - -|
|        :      .         .      :             ____.-----'    '-----.____             |
|        :                       :           /      \ @ ~ o ~ @  /      \            |
| 2'- - - :      .         .      : - - - - -|        | ~ o @ o ~ |        | - - - - -|
|                                            |        | @ ~ o ~ @ |        |          |
|   .-------------------------------------------------------------------------.       |
|   |  ┏┓ ┏━┓┏┓    ┏┓     ╺┳╸╻ ╻┏━╸   ┏━┓┏━╸┏━╸┏━┓┏┳┓┏━┓╻  ╻┏━╸┏━╸            |       |
|   |  ┣┻┓┃ ┃┣┻┓   ┃╺╋╸    ┃ ┣━┫┣╸    ┣━┫┃  ┃  ┃ ┃┃┃┃┣━┛┃  ┃┃  ┣╸             |       |
|   |  ┗━┛┗━┛┗━┛   ┗━┛     ╹ ╹ ╹┗━╸   ╹ ╹┗━╸┗━╸┗━┛╹ ╹╹  ┗━╸╹┗━╸┗━╸            |       |
|   |                                                                         |       |
|   |  SUSPECT No. 0004       conspiring to be seen in a room with no light   |       |
|   '-------------------------------------------------------------------------'       |
|                                                                                     |
|                                                                        wib&wob      |
|_____________________________________________________________________________________|

SUSPECT No. 0004

NAME
Bob & the Accomplice
CHARGED WITH
conspiring to be seen in a room with no light
BOOKED
Sat 07 Nov 2026, 23:13:51, coffee cubby, Fey
EVIDENCE
[download PNG, 2000x1338, 48K] [open]

 ________________________________________________________________________________________
|                                                                                        |
| 7'- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -|
|                          _.--------._                                                  |
| 6'- - - - - - - - - - -.'  ________  '.- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - .-----------.- |
|                       /   /        \   \                               | .-------. |  |
|              ________/___/__________\___\____                          | |_______| |  |
|             (________________________________)                         | | o  ) ( | |  |
| 5'- - - - - - -|   .------.   .------.   | - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -| |_______| |- |
|                |---|  o   |---|   o  |---|                            | | []  |] | |  |
|                |   '------'   '------'   |                            | |_______| |  |
|                 \          _)            /                             | | 8  ( 8 | |  |
| 4'- - - - - - - - \       .----.       / - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -| |_______| |- |
|                    \     (      )     /                               | |  ][  | | |  |
|                     '.    '----'    .'                                | |_______| |  |
|                       '-.________.-'                                  '-----------'  |
| 3'- - - - - - - - - ___/|        |\___ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |
|               .---'   /  \      /  \   '---.                                          |
|             /        |    \    /    |        \                                        |
|            /         |     |  |     |         \                                       |
| 2'- - - - |         |     |  |     |          | - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |
|           |         |     o  |     |          |                                       |
|    .------------------------------------------------.                                  |
|    |   _   _          _   _                          |                                 |
|    |  ( ) ( )        ( \_/ )        SUSPECT No. 0005 |                                 |
|    |  | | | |_  ___   \   /___  __                   |                                 |
|    |  ( _)( _ )( o_)   ( )( o_)(_'  saying yes before|                                 |
|    |  /_\ /_\|| \(     |_| \(  /__) hearing the      |                                 |
|    |                                question         |                                 |
| 1'-'------------------------------------------------'- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -|
|                                                                           wib&wob      |
|________________________________________________________________________________________|

SUSPECT No. 0005

NAME
the Yes
CHARGED WITH
saying yes before hearing the question
BOOKED
Sat 07 Nov 2026, 23:18:34, coffee cubby, Fey
EVIDENCE
[download PNG, 2000x1462, 54K] [open]

 7'- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
      *              o              ,,,///////,\\\\\\,,,                  )(        *
            .-.            ~     ,///'/'/'/ ' , \ '\ \\\\\\,       <>
 6'- - - - ( @ )- - - - - - - - ///'/ /' /' ,/ '\ \ '\ '\\\\\\ - - - - - - - - - - - -
            '-'\               ///' /' /'  '/  ,' '\ '\  \ '\\\\\\        o
       ______   \     *       ///'/'  /'  ,'        '.  '\  '\\\\\\
     .'      '.  \           |//' .'  ,-'              '-.  '\ \\\\|          *
    /   .--.   \  '-----------)/ .' ____________    ______'. \ \\\|
   |   (____)   |            |/ /  /   .----.   \==/ .--.  \ '\ \\|       ~
   |   (o  o)   |            | |  |   ( (@)  )  |  |( o<  ) | | \|
   |    \__/    |      o     | |   \   '----'   /   \'--'  /  | |
   |   /|  |\   |            |  \   '----------'  /\ '----'   |/       @
   |  / |__| \  |           .'   \                /  \       .'
   |    /  \    |  ~       / \    '.             /    \    .'
   |___/____\___|         |  ,\     '.          /______\  /         *
                          |  ; ;\    ''';,;,,;,;;;,,;''  /
        <>                 \ ;;;;\  ;;;;;'.--------.';; /     )(
                            '.;;;;;;;;;;;( '~~~~~~' );;;'
                              ';;;;;;;;;;;'-.____.-';;;'           o
     *            .------------'';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;''------------.
                 /  /  /  \     ';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;'      ,\  \   \
 5'- - - - - - -/ /  / |   \_/\_/ ~@~ ~*~ ~@~ ~*~ ~@~ \_/\_/ |  \  \ \- - - - - - - - - -
               / /  /  |   /  /  )(  <>  )(  <>  )(  \  \   |   \  \ \
              |  ||   |    |  | ~*~ ~@~ ~*~ ~@~ ~*~  |  |   |   |  ||  |
 ╔══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╗
 ║  SUSPECT No. 0006                                                                    ║
 ║   _____                 _       __          __                                       ║
 ║  |  __ \               | |      \ \        / /                                       ║
 ║  | |__) |__  ___  _ __ | | ___   \ \  /\  / /__ _ __ ___                             ║
 ║  |  ___/ _ \/ _ \| '_ \| |/ _ \   \ \/  \/ / _ \ '__/ _ \                            ║
 ║  | |  |  __/ (_) | |_) | |  __/    \  /\  /  __/ | |  __/                            ║
 ║  |_|   \___|\___/| .__/|_|\___|     \/  \/ \___|_|  \___|                            ║
 ║                  | |                                                                 ║
 ║                  |_|      CHARGE: saying "um" with intent                   wib&wob  ║
 ╚══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╝

SUSPECT No. 0006

NAME
People Were
CHARGED WITH
saying "um" with clear intent after eleven pm
BOOKED
Sat 07 Nov 2026, 23:23:35, coffee cubby, Fey
EVIDENCE
[download PNG, 2000x1586, 92K] [open]

 7'- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
        *                          .-""""-.                         )(          *
                  o              .'        '.              <>
 6'- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - (            )- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
        )(                        '.        .'         *                 o
                     *              '-....-'
              .-.                   .-~~~~-.                  ~
             ( o )-------.        .'        '.
              '-'         \      /            \           *
     *                     \    |   .-.   <)   |                       @
                            '---|  ( @ )       |
         ~                      |   '-'    /   |      o
                                 \        /_   /
                  <>              '.   '----' .'               )(
                                    '-.____.-'
   o                              ____|    |____                      *
                          .------'              '------.
 5'- - - - - - - - - - - /                              \ - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
                        /    .    .    .    .    .    .  \
             *         |       .    .    .    .    .     |        ~
                       |    .    .    .    .    .    .   |
 ╔══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╗
 ║  SUSPECT No. 0007                                                                ║
 ║                                                                                  ║
 ║  ╔╦╗┬ ┬┌─┐  ╦  ┌─┐┬ ┬   ╔═╗┌┐ ┬┌┬┐┬┌┐┌┌─┐  ╔═╗┬┌┬┐┬┌─┐┌─┐┌┐┌                     ║
 ║   ║ ├─┤├┤   ║  ├─┤│││───╠═╣├┴┐│ │││││││ ┬  ║  │ │ │┌─┘├┤ │││                     ║
 ║   ╩ ┴ ┴└─┘  ╩═╝┴ ┴└┴┘   ╩ ╩└─┘┴─┴┘┴┘└┘└─┘  ╚═╝┴ ┴ ┴└─┘└─┘┘└┘                     ║
 ║                                                                                  ║
 ║  CHARGE: refusing to be seen by the camera                              wib&wob  ║
 ╚══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╝

SUSPECT No. 0007

NAME
The Law-Abiding Citizen
CHARGED WITH
being far too law-abiding to show up in the photo
BOOKED
Sat 07 Nov 2026, 23:28:49, coffee cubby, Fey
EVIDENCE
[download PNG, 2000x1439, 44K] [open]

 7'- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
      *           .-----------------------------------.            )(        *
          o      /                                     \     <>
                |  .---------------. .---------------.  |
 6'- - - - - - -| |                 | |               | |- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
        )(      | |_________________| |_______________| |          o
                |  _______ ____.-""""-.____ ________    |
                | |  _ _  |   /,,,,,,,,\   | (_) (_) |  |     *
     *          | | (_)(_)|  |/'''''''''\| | ________|  |
                | |_______| ||  o    -o  || |   \|/  |  |             ~
        ~       | |  _ _ _  ||     |     || |  --@-- |  |
                | | (_|_|_) | \   /_    /  |   /|\  |  |      @
                | |_________|  '. '--' .'  |________|  |
   o            |  ________.----'      '----.______    |
                | |       /    .\    /.     \      |   |            *
 5'- - - - - - -| |      /    /  \ /\ /  \    \    |   |- - - - - - - - - - - - -
                | |     |    |  ) \/ (  |    |     |   |
          <>    | |     |    | (  /\  ) |    |     |   |       )(
                |_|_____|____|__\/__\/__|____|_____|___|
 ╔════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╗
 ║  SUSPECT No. 0008                                                              ║
 ║                                                                                ║
 ║  ___  /__(_)__  /__  /_____ _                                                  ║
 ║  __  /__  /__  /__  /_  __ `/                                                  ║
 ║  _  /__  / _  / _  / / /_/ /                                                   ║
 ║  /____/_/  /_/  /_/  \__,_/                                                    ║
 ║                                                                                ║
 ║  CHARGE: testing the lights on himself                                wib&wob  ║
 ╚════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╝

SUSPECT No. 0008

NAME
Zilla
CHARGED WITH
testing the lights on himself at twenty to midnight
BOOKED
Sat 07 Nov 2026, 23:39:47, coffee cubby, Fey
EVIDENCE
[download PNG, 2000x1426, 52K] [open]

 7'- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
      *         )(                                              o            *
                        __..--~~~~~~~~~~--..__
 6'- - - - - - - - - _.-~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~-._ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
                  .-~ ~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~-._              ~
       @        .'~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~ ~'-.__    .-~~~-.     <>
               /~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~ ~~~ '-.(  ~~~  )
              / ~__ ~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~( ~(@)~ )
 5'- - - - - | /   '--.__ ~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~ '-~~~-'- - - - - - - -
             |/ _____    '-.__ ~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~ /     *
             (  '---'        '-._ ~~~ ~~~~ ~~~ ~~~~ ~~~ ~~~ /
             |     .-.           | ~~ .-. ~~ ~~~ ~~ ~~~ ~~ |            ~
       o     /    ( o )          | ~ (   ) ~~ ~~~ ~~ ~~ ~ |
            /      '-'           |~~ '-' ~ ~~~ ~~ ~~ ~~  /       )(
 4'- - - - <   - - - - - - - - - | ~~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~ /- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
            '-.__                |''' ~ ~~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~~  |
               _/ ---.           |'''''  ~ ~ ~~ ~ ~ ~   |
              (_   ,,,\,,,,,,,,,,|''''''''  ~ ~ ~ ~    /
                \,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,''''''''''''        /
                 ',,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,''''''''''''     |
                   ',,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,'''''''''''     |
                     '-.,,,,,,,,,,,,,,''''''''      /
         ( (            '-..,,,,,,,,,,.-/\/\/\/\/\/\/\.
          ) )               |  /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ \
        .-----.             | /\/\/\/\/  \/\/\/\/\/\/\/ \.__
        |     |)           .'/\/\/\/\/    \/\/\/\/\/\/\/    '-.
        '-----'          .'   |  |          |  |  |           '.
 3'- - - - - - - - - - -/- - -|- | - - - - -|- | -|- - - - - - - \- - - - - - - - - -
       +------------------------------------------------------------------+
       |  SUSPECT No. 0009                                                |
       |  ╦ ╦┌─┐┌─┐┌─┐┬ ┬  ╦  ┌─┐┬─┐┬─┐┬ ┬                                 |
       |  ╠═╣├─┤├┤ ├┤ └┬┘  ║  ├─┤├┬┘├┬┘└┬┘                                 |
       |  ╩ ╩┴ ┴└  └   ┴   ╩═╝┴ ┴┴└─┴└─ ┴                     wib&wob     |
       +------------------------------------------------------------------+

SUSPECT No. 0009

NAME
Haffy Larry
CHARGED WITH
brewing a well-known herbal laxative and calling it Russian tea
BOOKED
Sat 07 Nov 2026, 23:52:39, coffee cubby, Fey
EVIDENCE
[download PNG, 2000x1612, 93K] [open]

 7'- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
     *        o            .--------------------------.          )(         *
                         .'  ____   ____   ____   ____  '.
 6'- - - - - - - - - - -/  |_||_| |_||_| |_||_| |_||_|  \- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
        ~               |  ___________________________   |        @
                        |  (_) (_) (_) (_)  \|/  (_) (_) |                 <>
                        |  ---------.-~~~-.--)(-------   |
          .-.     .-.   |  ________/ ~~~~~ \_|___ _____  |
          | |     | |   |         / ~~~~~~~ \     .-.   |           ~
 5'- - - -| |- - -| |- -|- - - - | ~~~~~~~~~ |- -( o )- -|- - - - - - - - - - - - -
          | |     | |   |       / -.    .-  \   '-'    |     *
          | |     | |   |      |  (o)   (O)  |         |
          | |_.-._| |   |      |      /       |         |      .-.     .-.
          |   | |   |   |      |     <___     |         |      | |     | |
         (    | |   _)  |       \             /         |      | |     | |
          \    '   /    |        \   '-----' /          |      | |     | |
 4'- - - - \      / - - | - - - - '-._____.-'- - - - - -|- - - | |_.-._| |- - - - -
            \    \      |        ____|   |____          |      |   | |   |
             \    '.    |   _.-''    '._.'    ''-._     |      (_   | |    )
              '.    '-._|.-'     /\/\/  |  \/\/\     '-.|_.-'  /    '    /
                '-.             /       |       \               \     .'
                   '-.         |   o    |    o   |          _.-'     /
         ~            '-.      |        |        |      _.-'     _.-'
                         '--.  |   o    |    o   |  .--'     .-'           )(
 3'- - - - - - - - - - - - - '-|- - - - | - - - -|-' - - - -'- - - - - - - - - - - -
          /\_/\                |        |        |                    ~
     .-~~(  o.' ~~-.           |        |        |          ..^^^^^^^.
    (_   >  ^       )~~        |________|________|        (  o  ,,,  ;>
      '-.____.-'-'                                         ''-'-''-''
       +---------------------------------------------------------------------+
       |  SUSPECT No. 0010                                                   |
       |   _   _        __  __         _                                     |
       |  | | | | __ _ / _|/ _|_   _  | |    __ _ _ __ _ __ _   _            |
       |  | |_| |/ _` | |_| |_| | | | | |   / _` | '__| '__| | | |           |
       |  |  _  | (_| |  _|  _| |_| | | |__| (_| | |  | |  | |_| |           |
       |  |_| |_|\__,_|_| |_|  \__, | |_____\__,_|_|  |_|   \__, |           |
       |                       |___/                        |___/   wib&wob  |
       +---------------------------------------------------------------------+

SUSPECT No. 0010

NAME
Haffy Larry
CHARGED WITH
cancelling a moonlit walk for fear of one fox and a rumoured wild boar
BOOKED
Sat 07 Nov 2026, 23:54:30, coffee cubby, Fey
EVIDENCE
[download PNG, 2000x1784, 68K] [open]

 7'- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
      )(          *         .-------------------------.            o          *
                          .'   ___    ___    ___    ___ '.
 6'- - - - - - - - - - - / - |_|_| -|_|_|- -|_|_|- -\|/- \ - - - - - - - - - - - - -
        @              |         .-~~~~~~~~~-.     )(    |         ~
                       |       .' ||||||||||| '.  (_)    |
                       |      / |||| /   \ |||| \  |     |       <>
                       |     | ||| /  .-.  \ ||| |       |
 5'- - - - - - - - - - |- - -| || |  ( o )  `--.|| |- - - |- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
          *            |     | || |   '-'   (@  >|| |      |
                       |     | || |    /         || |      |            ~
                       |     ( || |   <__        || )      |
                       |      \|| | ,,,,,,,,,,,, ||/       |
                       |       || |,, '-.___.' ,,||        |      )(
 4'- - - - - - - - - - |- - - -|| ',,,,,,,,,,,,,'||- - - - | - - - - - - - - - - - -
                       |       ||  ',,,,,,,,,,,'  ||        |
                       |      _.-'-.._ |  | _..-'-._       |     ~   ~
                       |  _.-'     \  \|  |/  /     '-._   |  ~   ~   ~   ~
           o           |.'    |     \  | Y |  /     |   '.  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~
                       /     /|      \ |   | /      |\    \   ~   ~   ~  ~
                      /     / |       \|   |/       | '.   '.  ~  ~  ~  ~   ~
 3'- - - - - - - - - -/- - /- |- - - - | = | - - - -|- '-.- -'-.~ -~- ~- ~-.- - - -
                     /    /   |        | = |        |    '-.  '-._ ~  ~ _.-'
             ~      |    /    |        | = |        |       '-.   '---'
                    |   |     |        |   |        |          '-._
                 .--+---+.    |        |   |        |              '.
                 |  ~~~  |)   |        |   |        |    @           *
                 '-------'    |________|___|________|
       +---------------------------------------------------------------------+
       |  SUSPECT No. 0011                                                   |
       |   _   _        __  __         _                                     |
       |  | | | | __ _ / _|/ _|_   _  | |    __ _ _ __ _ __ _   _            |
       |  | |_| |/ _` | |_| |_| | | | | |   / _` | '__| '__| | | |           |
       |  |  _  | (_| |  _|  _| |_| | | |__| (_| | |  | |  | |_| |           |
       |  |_| |_|\__,_|_| |_|  \__, | |_____\__,_|_|  |_|   \__, |           |
       |                       |___/                        |___/   wib&wob  |
       +---------------------------------------------------------------------+

SUSPECT No. 0011

NAME
Haffy Larry
CHARGED WITH
sitting for three portraits in five minutes and blurring the evidence on purpose
BOOKED
Sat 07 Nov 2026, 23:56:30, coffee cubby, Fey
EVIDENCE
[download PNG, 2000x1741, 64K] [open]

 .------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------.
 | 7'- - -    *        o            ______|______             )(          @          *      |
 |       |                  .-.    /\     |     /\    .-.                     o             |
 | 6'- - -      ~          (   )  /  \    o    /  \  (   )        *                   <>    |
 |       |                  '-'  (____)  /|\  (____)  '-'                     ~             |
 |       |      ,.(((()).                                    .-""""-.        _.-----._      |
 |       |    ((()(()()()).            o                    / /'''''\\      / ,-----. \     |
 | 5'- - -   (()  ___  ___ ))     *                        / /  _  _ \\    | /'''''''\ |    |
 |       |   (( [(o)]-[(o)] ))                            | |  (o)(o) ||   |/  _   __ \|    |
 |       |    ((   \      ))          )(                  | |    /\   ||  (|  (O) -<. )|)   |
 |       |     \)   '>   (/                  @            | | \\||||// ||   |    /     |     |
 | 4'- - -      \  .--.  /                                | |  .------. ||  |\  /__.  /|     |
 |       |       '.____.'                                 | | (|\____/|)|   | \|||||||/ |    |
 |       |   _____/    \_____         *                   |.-(| |__| |)-.   |  \|||||/  |    |
 |       |  /     \    /     \                   o       /  ( \______/ )  \  '.  '-'  .'    |
 | 3'- - -  /  .-.  \  /  .-.  \  ~                      / /\ \.____./ /\ \  /'-.___.-'\    |
 |       | /  /   \  \/  /   \  \       <- - - - ->     / /  \ '-..-' /  \ \/ /\/\/\/\ \   |
 |       |(  ( ~~~ )    ( ~~~ )  )      big   bad      | |    '.    .'    | |  ______  |   |
 |       | \  '---' |  | '---'  /        scale          | |     |    |     | | (______) |   |
 | 2'- - -  \______/    \______/                        | |     |    |     |  \ /    \ /   |
 |       |     |  |  ||  |  |               *           |_|_____|____|_____|___X______X__   |
 |       |     |  |  ||  |  |                                                               |
 |-------'----------------------------------------------------------------------------------|
 |  SUSPECT No. 0012           _       _         __                                         |
 |                    _|_|_  _  |_)o _  |_) _. _| (_  _ _.| _       & two silent witnesses  |
 |                     |_| |(/_ |_)|(_| |_)(_|(_| __)(_(_||(/_                               |
 |                                    _|                                       wib&wob      |
 '------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------'

SUSPECT No. 0012

NAME
the Big Bad Scale
CHARGED WITH
describing a big bad scale with both hands while two accomplices sipped and judged
BOOKED
Sun 08 Nov 2026, 00:13:42, coffee cubby, Fey
EVIDENCE
[download PNG, 2000x1245, 72K] [open]

 .-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------.
 |  7'- - -    *         )(          o        __|__        @            *        <>          |
 |        |        ~             .-------._ .' _|_ '.  ___.-------.         o                 |
 |  6'- - -                     /____________|(_)_____\             ~                  )(    |
 |        |       ,,,,,,,,      '-------._____|_____.-'                      .-""""-.         |
 |        |     ,;'''''''''';       ,/;((((((()));\,                         / ,-''-. \        |
 |  5'- - -    ;'  ____  ____ ';     ((( /'      '\ )))          *         | /''''''\ |       |
 |        |   ;  /(o )\--/(o )\ ;   ((( |  -     - | )))                   |/ (o)  (O\|       |
 |        |   ;  \___/   \___/  ;   ((  |    /     | ))                   (|    /     |)      |
 |  4'- - -    \      \        /    ((  |   /_     | ))       o            | '.____.' |       |
 |        |     \   .-----.   /    (((   \ ~~~~~~~ / )))                   |\\\\\\\\\\|       |
 |        |      \  \_____/  /     ((( .--'--.  .-'.)))                     \\\\\\\\\\/       |
 |        |       '.______.'       ((( |\___/|_/  '.))                       '-.____.-'        |
 |  3'- - -     ___/      \___     ((( |   |_|  _  |))           *     .-----/ ~ @ \-----.    |
 |        |    /   \_.--._/   \    /'--|_____| (_)--'\                /    / {*}@{*} \    \   |
 |        |   /  /|        |\  \  /  /         |      \       ~      /  / / @  ~  @  \ \   \  |
 |  2'- - -   | ( |        | ) | / /|          |   \  \             |  | | {*} @ {*} | |   |  |
 |        |  .-.  |        |   | | |          |    | |              |  | |  @ ~ @    | |   |  |
 |        | (___) |        |   | | |          |    | |              |  |  \ {*} {*} /  |   |  |
 |        | |___| |________|   |_| |__________|____|_|              |__|___\_______/___|___|  |
 |  1'- - -                                                                                  |
 |   ~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~  |
 |      ~^~^~^~^~^~     __/|__      ~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~    __|\__     ~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~      |
 |                     \_____/                              \_____/                          |
 |-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|
 |  SUSPECT No. 0013          _                                                              |
 |                  _|_|_  _  /  _..__|_ _.o._                                               |
 |                   |_| |(/_ \_(_||_)|_(_||| |                                              |
 |                                  |                                           wib&wob      |
 '-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------'

SUSPECT No. 0013

NAME
the Captain
CHARGED WITH
asking for a captain and then all three of them saluting at once
BOOKED
Sun 08 Nov 2026, 00:16:05, coffee cubby, Fey
EVIDENCE
[download PNG, 2000x1299, 80K] [open]

 .------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------.
 |  7'- - -     *          .-----------------------------------.        )(        *         |
 |        |      o        /  .-------------.  .--------------.  \             o            |
 |  6'- - -      )(      |   |             |  |              |   |     ~             @     |
 |        |        ~      |   |             |  |              |   |          *             |
 |        |               |   '-------------'  '--------------'   |                         |
 |  5'- - -    @          |   .-------------.-.---------------.   |      .------.           |
 |        |               |   | u u u u u u | | n n  u u U  u |   |      ||    ||   o       |
 |        |      *        |   |-------------| |---------------|   |      ||    ||           |
 |  4'- - -               |   | U  u  u  U  | |  u u n  ___   |   |      |'----'|           |
 |        |   .-.         |   |-------------| |---------\   /-|   |      |      |    ~      |
 |        |  (   )        |   | o o  o  o o | | o  o  o  | |  |   |      |      |           |
 |  3'- - -  '-'  ~       |   '-------------'-'---------/___\-'   |      .____. |           |
 |        |      o       |   .-------------. .-----------.     |    .------.    |  ______   |
 |        |               |   |      .--.   | |           |     |   / .--.  \   | /      \  |
 |  2'- - -   *           |   |   \ /'-..'  | |    @      |     |  | (    )  |  | |~~~~~~|  |
 |        |               |   |    X      | | |           |     |  |  '--'   |  | |______|  |
 |        |         )(    |   |   / \.---.|  | '-----------'     |   \_______/   |  /    \  |
 |  1'- - -               |   |  |  | |  |   |                   |      | |      | |    |  |
 |        |    ~          |   |  |  | |  |   |                   |      |_|      |_|____|  |
 |   _____|_______________|___|__|__|_|__|___|___________________|_______________|__________|
 |  /    .      .      .      .      .      .      .      .      .      .      .     /       |
 | /____.______.______.______.______.______.______.______.______.______.______.____/        |
 |                                                                                          |
 |-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|
 |  SUSPECT No. 0014     +-+-+-+-+-+-+ +-+-+         last seen: near the coffee              |
 |                       |M|i|s|t|e|r| |U|m|                                                 |
 |                       +-+-+-+-+-+-+ +-+-+                                     wib&wob     |
 '------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------'

SUSPECT No. 0014

NAME
Mister Um
CHARGED WITH
saying um and then vanishing from his own mugshot twice
BOOKED
Sun 08 Nov 2026, 00:18:05, coffee cubby, Fey
EVIDENCE
[download PNG, 2000x1285, 56K] [open]

 .------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------.
 |  7'- - -      *          o            )(              *              @           <>      |
 |        |            ~           .  ,  ,  .                  o                            |
 |  6'- - -     )(            ,((((((((((((((((,                          .--''''--.     *    |
 |        |                 ((((((((((((((((((((((         ~           .'|||||||||||'.       |
 |        |         *      (((( ((( (((( ((( (((((                    /||||||||||||||\      |
 |  5'- - -               ((( /''''/''''/''''\ )))                    |================|     |
 |        |      o        (( / / ( o( o( o / / ))        @             |  ~~~    ~~~   |      |
 |        |                ( | | |  \ \  \ | | )                       |  (o)    (o)   |      |
 |  4'- - -          ~      )| | |  >  > > | |(                ~       |      ;        |      |
 |        |                  \ \ \  ___ __  / /                        |'.  \_____/  .'|      |
 |        |    @              \ \ \ \__\__\/ /           *              \ '-._____.-' /     o |
 |  3'- - -                    '-.'-.'-.--.-'                        _.-'\           /'-._     |
 |        |           )(     .-'''''''''''''''-.                  .-'    \'-.___.-'/     '-.  |
 |        |                 /  /  /  /  /  /    \       o         /  ||  |\\\\\\\\\|  ||    \ |
 |  2'- - -       *        /  /  /  /  /  /  /   \               /   ||  | \\\\\\\ |  ||     ||
 |        |               |  |  |  |  |  |  |   |               |   ||  |  \\\\\  |  ||     ||
 |        |     ~         |  |  |  |  |  |  |   |      )(       |   ||  |   \\\   |  ||     ||
 |  1'- - -               |__|__|__|__|__|__|___|               |___||__|____\____|__||_____||
 |                                                                                          |
 |-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|
 |  SUSPECT No. 0015                                                                         |
 |              ═╔╝║ ║╔═╝  ╔═║╔═║║  ╝═╔╝╔═╝  ╔═║╔═ ╔═╝                                        |
 |               ║ ╔═║╔═╝  ╔═╝P║ ║║  ║ ║ ╔═╝  ║ ║║ ║╔═╝      & one smiling witness          |
 |               ╝ ╝ ╝══╝  ╝  PP══╝══╝╝ ╝ ══╝  ══╝╝ ╝══╝                          wib&wob    |
 '------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------'

SUSPECT No. 0015

NAME
the Polite One
CHARGED WITH
saying thank you and then dashing straight through their own mugshot
BOOKED
Sun 08 Nov 2026, 00:28:03, coffee cubby, Fey
EVIDENCE
[download PNG, 2000x1143, 63K] [open]

 .------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------.
 | [ ] [ ] [ ]   suspect_0016 ~ truth.terminal                                              |
 |------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|
 |  7'- - -    >_      *             o          \  /        )(         *         >_         |
 |        |                ~                     \/   o                                  @   |
 |  6'- - -       .-""-.                 .-"""-.  ||             .-''''''''''-.      ~       |
 |        |      /,,,,,,\               / //// \ ||    *       .'||||||||||||||'.          |
 |        |     |,(o)(o)|              | (o) (o)|/            /||||||||||||||||||\    o     |
 |  5'- - -     | \  /  |              |   >    |            |===================|        |
 |        |     |\\\\\\\|              | \\\\\\\|            /  ~~~~      ~~~~   \        |
 |        |     |\\\\\\\|  o           |\\\\\\\\|           | ( (o) )    ( (O) )  |    *   |
 |  4'- - -     |'\\\\\'|               '-.____.'            |          ;          |        |
 |        |   .-'''''''''-.          .---'    '---.         |   .-''''''''''-.   |        |
 |        |  / .:.  .:.    \        /   .--------. \        |   \  ========  /   |   )(   |
 |  3'- - -  | .:. .:. .:.  |       |  [_]  ___  | |        |\   '-.______.-'   /|        |
 |        |  |.:.  .:.  .:.|       |  (_)>|   | | |        | \               /  |  ~      |
 |        |  | .:. .:. .:.  |       |      '---' | |      .-'  '-.  '---'  .-'  '-.        |
 |  2'- - -  |  .:.  .:.  .:|       |    |    |   |       /  ||   '-------'   ||  \       |
 |        |  |.:.  .:. .:.  |       |    |    |   |      /   ||  /\/\/\/\/\  ||   \      |
 |        |  | .:.  .:.  .:.|       |    |    |   |     |    ||  \/\/\/\/\/  ||    |      |
 |  1'- - -  |______________|       |____|____|___|     |____||_______________||____|      |
 |                                                                                         |
 |-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|
 |  SUSPECT No. 0016                                                                        |
 |       ╺┳╸┏━╸┏━┓┏━╸┏━┓┏━┓╻┏━┓   ┏┳┓┏━┓╺┳╸╻ ╻┏━╸┏━┓                                         |
 |        ┃ ┣╸ ┣┳┛┣╸ ┗━┓┣━┫ ┗━┓   ┃┃┃┃ ┃ ┃ ┣━┫┣╸ ┣┳┛     & a peace-sign photobomber          |
 |        ╹ ┗━╸╹┗╸┗━╸┗━┛╹ ╹ ┗━┛   ╹ ╹┗━┛ ╹ ╹ ╹┗━╸╹┗╸                              wib&wob    |
 |  > _                                                                                     |
 '------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------'

SUSPECT No. 0016

NAME
Teresa's Mother
CHARGED WITH
asking about truth terminal while a bearded accomplice flashed a peace sign behind her
BOOKED
Sun 08 Nov 2026, 00:30:16, coffee cubby, Fey
EVIDENCE
[download PNG, 2000x1285, 70K] [open]

 .------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------.
 |  7'- - -     *            . * .                 )(            o              *           |
 |        |         o      *  \|/  *        ~                         @                     |
 |  6'- - -              - - -( * )- - - - - - - - .                        ~        <>     |
 |        |       )(         */|\*                  '.       _.------.__                    |
 |        |                   ' '         *           '. .-''//////////''-.       o         |
 |  5'- - -      ~                                      .'/////////////////// '.            |
 |        |            @                              .'  ///  .--.  ///////////\           |
 |        |                         o                /  _.--''    '-.  /////////|           |
 |  4'- - -      *                                  /.-'   __          \ ///////||          |
 |        |                                        (     <(@)>  ____    |  .-.  ||          |
 |        |          )(                             \   .        '      | ( @ ) ||    *     |
 |  3'- - -                         ~             <    \                 |  '-'  //          |
 |        |                                         '.  \_                \  ////           |
 |        |     o                                 .--'  ''-.               \////  )(        |
 |  2'- - -                                       '._\\\_.-'\\\            |//               |
 |        |                     *                   \\\\\\\\\\\\          /                  |
 |        |                                          \\\\\\\\\\\\\    _.-'                   |
 |  1'- - -        ~                                  '-\\\\\\\\\\.-'| <> <> <>              |
 |        |                                         .---'.  |  .'----.-----------.          |
 |        |                                    _.--'   /<>\ | /<>\    \           '--.      |
 |        |                                  .'        \<>/ | \<>/     |               '.   |
 |        |                                 /           '.  |  .'      |                 \  |
 |--------'---------------------------------'--------------'-|-'-------'-----------------'--|
 |  SUSPECT No. 0017   ▄▄▄▄▄ ▄ .▄▄▄▄ .    ▄▄▌ ▐ ▄▌▪  .▄▄ ·  ▄ .▄▄▄▄ .▄▄▄                      |
 |                     •██  ██▪▐█▀▄.▀·    ██· █▌▐███ ▐█ ▀. ██▪▐█▀▄.▀·▀▄ █·                    |
 |                      ▐█.▪██▀▐█▐▀▀▪▄    ██▪▐█▐▐▌▐█·▄▀▀▀█▄██▀▐█▐▀▀▪▄▐▀▀▄                     |
 |                      ▐█▌·██▌▐▀▐█▄▄▌    ▐█▌██▐█▌▐█▌▐█▄▪▐███▌▐▀▐█▄▄▌▐█•█▌                    |
 |                      ▀▀▀ ▀▀▀ · ▀▀▀      ▀▀▀▀ ▀▪▀▀▀ ▀▀▀▀ ▀▀▀ · ▀▀▀ .▀  ▀           wib&wob   |
 '------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------'

SUSPECT No. 0017

NAME
the Wisher
CHARGED WITH
wishing out loud for more art and then turning to laugh at someone mid-portrait
BOOKED
Sun 08 Nov 2026, 00:37:20, coffee cubby, Fey
EVIDENCE
[download PNG, 2000x1299, 61K] [open]

+--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------+
|                 .-''''''''''''''''''''''''''''-.                *          (         |
| 7'- - - -      |  .-------------.-------------. |                         o    )        |
|                |  |             |             | |    o                <>           (     *   |
|    *           |  |-------------+-------------| |                       .-.     )        |
|                |  |  _   _   _  |  _  _  _  _ | |                      ( @ )-------      |
| 6'- - - -      |  | (_) (_) (_) | (_)(_)(_)(_)| |   )                   '-'              |
|                |  |-------------+-------------| |                 ~     )(        ~      |
|                |  |  \_/  \_/   |  \_/   ,\,  | |                     |-|                   |
|                |  |-------------+-------------| |                     |-|      *            |
| 5'- - - -      |  |  .--. .--.  |  .--. .--.  | |                     |-|                   |
|                |  |  |  | |  |  |  |  | |  |  | |                     |-|           .--.    |
|   )(           |  |__'--'_'--'__|__'--'_'--'__| |                                  |  |    |
|                |     .:''''':.                  |                              .---'  |    |
| 4'- - - -      |    :  o   <  :     .-----.     |                              |   .-'     |
|                |    :    >    :     |\   /|     |                              v           |
|                |     ':  ~  :'      | \ / |     |                  .--------------------.  |
|                |       ':..:'.      |  X  |     |                  |\__________________/|  |
| 3'- - - -      |     .:'      ':.   | / \ |     |                  | \  o          o  / |  |
|                |    :   .-.     :   |/   \|     |                  |  '--------------'  |  |
|                |    :  (   )=   :   |=====|     |                  |                    |  |
|                |    :   '-'     :   ||   ||     |                  |                    |  |
| 2'- - - -      |_____:.._____..:____||___||_____|                __|____________________|_ |
|                                                                                      |
|   +--------------------------------------------+                                     |
|   |  SUSPECT No. 0018                          |        the night shift . 00:56      |
|   |    ___ _   _       ___              _     |                                     |
|   |   |_ _| |_( )___  / __|___  ___  __| |    |                                     |
|   |    | ||  _|/(_-< | (_ / _ \/ _ \/ _` |    |                                     |
|   |   |___|\__| /__/  \___\___/\___/\__,_|    |                                     |
|   +--------------------------------------------+                           wib&wob   |
+--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------+

SUSPECT No. 0018

NAME
It's Good
CHARGED WITH
saying it's good and then staying out of the photo twice to keep it that way
BOOKED
Sun 08 Nov 2026, 00:58:20, coffee cubby, Fey
EVIDENCE
[download PNG, 2000x1377, 58K] [open]

+------------------------------------------------------------------------------+
|                                                                              |
|              _______                     *        @     .-.        o      |
|             |       |                               (   )  (   )              |
|             |       |                       )(     .-.'-'.-. '-'      *        |
|          ___|_______|___                            (   )|(   )                  |
|         (_______________)                            '-' |/'-'      <>           |
|               ' . '                                     \|/                      |
|             .  ' . '  .                                  |                ~      |
|                                                        .-'-.                     |
|            .-----------.                              (     )                    |
|            |\         /|                               )   (                     |
|            | \       / |                              /     \           .-.      |
|            |   \   /   |                             (       )         ( o )     |
|            |     X     |                              '.___.'        ---'-'      |
|            |   /   \   |                                                   .---.             |
|            | /       \ |                                                   |   |             |
|            |/_________\|                                              .----'   |             |
|           /|===========|\                                             | .------'             |
|          / |           | \                                            v                      |
|         /  |           |  \                                        .-----------------.       |
|        /   '           '   \                                       |_________________|       |
|                                                                              |
|    SUSPECT No. 0019 . the night shift . nine minutes to one                  |
|    .___  __ /\          ________                  .___                       |
|    |   |/  |)/ ______  /  _____/  ____   ____   __| _/                       |
|    |   \   __\/  ___/ /   \  ___ /  _ \ /  _ \ / __ |                        |
|    |   ||  |  \___ \  \    \_\  (  <_> |  <_> ) /_/ |                        |
|    |___||__| /____  >  \______  /\____/ \____/\____ |                        |
|                   \/          \/                   \/                        |
|                                                                   wib&wob    |
+------------------------------------------------------------------------------+

SUSPECT No. 0019

NAME
It's Good
CHARGED WITH
saying uh and then letting the furniture sit for the portrait instead
BOOKED
Sun 08 Nov 2026, 01:00:48, coffee cubby, Fey
EVIDENCE
[download PNG, 2000x1377, 46K] [open]

+------------------------------------------------------------------------------+
|                                                                              |
|             .-~~~~~~~-.                        *              o              |
|          .-'  ~  ~  ~  '-.                           .-.                     |
|        .'  ~ (   ~    ~   '.                  )(    ( @ )------.        *    |
|       /   ~   \  ~   ~   ~  \                          '-'       |             |
|      |   .--.  )             |                                 |    <>       |
|      |  ( () )/     __       |                     ___         |             |
|      |   '--'/     <__)      |                    (___)===.    '------.      |
|       \     /                /                      \_____/           |      |
|        \   <                 |                                        v      |
|         \   '-.              |                   ~                           |
|          )   __)             /                                /\               |
|         (  .'  )   ~        /                                /  \       *      |
|          '. '-'          .-'                    o           /____\             |
|            '-._      _.-'|                                    ||               |
|                '----'   |                                     |=|              |
|              |          |                                     |=|     )        |
|         .----'          '----.                                |=|    (         |
|       .'  \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \   '.                              |=|     )        |
|      /    \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \     \                    *      |=|              |
|     |     \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \      |                          |=|              |
|                                                                              |
|    SUSPECT No. 0020 . three minutes past one                                 |
|       _ o              , _                                                   |
|      | |/             /|/ \                                                  |
|      | |  _  _  _      |   |   __ _|_                                        |
|    _ |/  / |/ |/ |     |   |  /  \_|                                         |
|    \_/\/   |  |  |_/   |   |_/\__/ |_/                                       |
|                                                                   wib&wob    |
+------------------------------------------------------------------------------+

SUSPECT No. 0020

NAME
I'm Not
CHARGED WITH
insisting they are not, without ever saying what they are not
BOOKED
Sun 08 Nov 2026, 01:04:28, coffee cubby, Fey
EVIDENCE
[download PNG, 2000x1549, 49K] [open]

+------------------------------------------------------------------------------+
|                                                                              |
|      *               o           *                                            |
|          \  |  /         \  |  /                *        .-.          o      |
|       --  .---.  --   --  .---.  --                       ( @ )                |
|          ( o o )         ( >   )                 )(         '-'----.     *      |
|          (  o  )         (  -  )                                   |            |
|           '-+-'           '-+-'                         <>           |     ~      |
|       \    /|\    /   \    /|\    /                             .----'            |
|        \__/ | \__/     \__/ | \__/                     o          |                 |
|             |   .-.         |                                   v      )          |
|             |  (   )=       |                                         (     *     |
|            / \  '-'        / \                          ~              )          |
|           /   \           /   \                                                   |
|       -- /     \ --   -- /     \ --                 *         o               ~   |
|         '       '       '       '                                               |
|   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~                                        |
|                                                                              |
|    SUSPECT No. 0021 . six minutes past one                                   |
|      __   _     _   _          _                                             |
|     (  ) ( )   ( \_/ )        ( )                                            |
|     /  \ | |_   \   /___  ___ | |_                                           |
|    ( O  )( _ )   ( )( o_)( o )( _ )                                          |
|     \__/ /_\||   |_| \(  /_^_\/_\||                                          |
|                                                                   wib&wob    |
+------------------------------------------------------------------------------+

SUSPECT No. 0021

NAME
Oh Yeah
CHARGED WITH
saying yeah twice and turning into two people out of sheer enthusiasm
BOOKED
Sun 08 Nov 2026, 01:07:02, coffee cubby, Fey
EVIDENCE
[download PNG, 2000x1253, 46K] [open]

+------------------------------------------------------------------------------+
|                                                                              |
|              ,,,////\\\\,,,                    *            o           )(   |
|          .-'''  12  .  .   '''-.                                             |
|        .'  11              1    '.                     .-.          <>           |
|       /                .         \                    ( @ )----.                 |
|      | 10    .--.     /   <       2 |                     '-'     |        ~        |
|      |      ( () )   /              |                             v                 |
|      | 9     '--'   o            3  |                   ___________                 |
|      |              |               |                  /  12       \___             |
|      | 8           /|\          4   |                 | 9   \_.      3 \__          |
|       \           (_|_)            /                  |______|_____ 6 ____\         |
|        '.  7       |         5  .'                    |\   /|   \ \___/  ( |        |
|          '-._      6       _.-'                       | \ / |    '. (    ) |        |
|              '-.._______..-'                          |  X  |      '-'  (  |        |
|                  |       |                            | / \ |            ) |        |
|            .-----'  ~~~  '-----.                      |/   \|           (  |        |
|          .'  : : : : : : : : :  '.                    ||   ||                 v     |
|         /   : : : : : : : : : :   \                   ||   ||                       |
|                                                                              |
|    SUSPECT No. 0022 . twenty-five to two                                     |
|    ╻ ╻┏━┓╻  ┏━╸   ┏━┓┏━┓┏━┓╺┳╸   ┏━┓┏┓╻┏━╸                                   |
|    ┣━┫┣━┫┃  ┣╸    ┣━┛┣━┫┗━┓ ┃    ┃ ┃┃┗┫┣╸                                    |
|    ╹ ╹╹ ╹┗━╸╹     ╹  ╹ ╹┗━┛ ╹    ┗━┛╹ ╹┗━╸                                   |
|                                                                   wib&wob    |
+------------------------------------------------------------------------------+

SUSPECT No. 0022

NAME
Half Past One
CHARGED WITH
answering yeah at twenty-five to two to a question asked eight minutes earlier
BOOKED
Sun 08 Nov 2026, 01:36:25, coffee cubby, Fey
EVIDENCE
[download PNG, 2000x1253, 46K] [open]

+------------------------------------------------------------------------------------+
|        *              o                    .-.           )(                *         |
|                                           ( @ )----.                                |
|                                            '-'     |                                |
|                                                    v                                |
|7'- - -                                             .-''''''''''-.            *   |
|                    .-~~~~~~~-.                       .'||||||||||||||'.              |
|   *              .-'(( ((( ))) ))'-.                  /||||||||||||||||||\        o   |
|                / ((( /'''''''\ ))) \                 |====================|          |
|6'- - -        | ((( /  _   __ \ ))) |               |  _____      ____   |       )( |
|               | (( | ( o) |<o  | )) |               | ( (o)/|    <o) ) \ |           |
|              ( ((( |     /|    | ))) )             (|      /|            |)      ~ |
|              ( ((  |    /_|    |  )) )              |     /_|            |           |
|             ( (((   \  `---'  /   ))) )             |  .-------------.   |           |
|5'- - -       ( ((( (  '.____.'  ) ))) )             |  \ | | | | | | /   |           |
|            ( ((( ((    |  |    )) ))) )             \  '-----------'   /        <> |
|           .(c(c(c(c(c.-'  '-.c)c)c)c)c).             '._           _.'             |
|          (c(c(c(c(c(c\      /c)c)c)c)c)c)       .-------'-._____.-'-------.      * |
|         (c(c(c(c(c(c( \    / )c)c)c)c)c)c)     /  /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\  \       |
|4'- - -  |c(c(c(c(c(c(  \  /  )c)c)c)c)c)c|    |  /\/\/\/\/\   .---.  /\/\ |         |
|         |c(c(c(c(c(c(   \/   )c)c)c)c)c)c|    | /\/\/\/\/\ c(    )   /\/\ |         |
|         |              /  \              |    | /\/\/\/\/\   \__/    /\/\ |     o   |
|         |             /    \             |    |  /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ |         |
|                                                                                    |
|    SUSPECT No. 0023 . two in the morning . found at last                           |
|    ╺┳╸╻ ╻┏━╸   ┏┳┓┏━┓╺┳┓┏━╸╻ ╻   ┏┳┓┏━╸┏┓╻                                         |
|     ┃ ┣━┫┣╸    ┃┃┃┣━┫ ┃┃┃╺┓┃ ┃   ┃┃┃┣╸ ┃┗┫                                         |
|     ╹ ╹ ╹┗━╸   ╹ ╹╹ ╹╺┻┛┗━┛┗━┛   ╹ ╹┗━╸╹ ╹                                         |
|                                                                   wib&wob          |
+------------------------------------------------------------------------------------+

SUSPECT No. 0023

NAME
the Madgu Men
CHARGED WITH
shouting go at a laptop until it finally saw someone
BOOKED
Sun 08 Nov 2026, 01:54:32, coffee cubby, Fey
EVIDENCE
[download PNG, 2000x1394, 90K] [open]

 7'-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    *        .           ________________________                @          )(       o
     ~    o             |                        |     *                            .--.
 6'------------------   |     .-"""""""""-.      |                       .-.       ( @@ )
           )(           |   .' ,/ / | \ \, '.    |            .-.  .-.  (   )       '--'
    <>                  |  / / / / /|\ \ \ \ \   |      .-.  (   )(   ) |   |
                        | / / / / / | \ \ \ \ \  |     (   ) |   ||   | |   |
 5'------------------   |/ / / /.---+---.\ \ \ \ |     |   | |   ||   | |   |
                        | | | |/ \     / \| | | ||     |   | |   ||   | |   |   .-.
        *               | | | |  <@>  (o) | | | |     |   | |   ||   | |   |  /  /
                        | | | |     /|    | | | |      |   '-'   ''   '-'   | /  /
 4'------------------   | | | |    /_|    | | | |      |                    '   /
               o        | | |/\ .~~~~~~~. /\| | |      |                       /
                        | | |  \|,=====.|/  | | |       \                     /
                        | | |  /|\  U  /|\  | | |  ~ ~ ~ \                   /
 3'------------------  (| | | / | \ | / | \ | | |)        '.               .'
                        \ \ \/ ~ \ \|/ / ~ \/ / /           '-.         .-'
                    .----\ \ ( ~ (\ V /) ~ ) / /----.          '--. .--'
                   /      '-'\ ~ ~ \ / ~ ~ /'-'      \-----------'  /
                  /     .     \ ,%. V ,%. /     .     \            /
                 /      |      \ `' | `' /      |      \          /
 2'-------------/       |       \ ,%|%, /       |       \--------'
               |        |        \ `|' /        |        |              .-.
               |        |         \ | /         |        |             (   )==.
               |        |          \|/          |        |              | |   ||
 1'------------|        |           V           |        |         _____| |___||____
               |________|_______________________|________|        |________________|
         ________________________________________________________________
        |  SUSPECT No. 0024                                              |
        |  ┌┬┐┬ ┬┌─┐  ╦═╗┌─┐┌┬┐┬ ┬┬─┐┌┐┌┌─┐┬─┐                           |
        |   │ ├─┤├┤   ╠╦╝├┤  │ │ │├┬┘│││├┤ ├┬┘                           |
        |   ┴ ┴ ┴└─┘  ╩╚═└─┘ ┴ └─┘┴└─┘└┘└─┘┴└─      GLITCH . FEY . 01:56  |
        |________________________________________________________________|
                                                                  wib&wob

SUSPECT No. 0024

NAME
the Returner
CHARGED WITH
returning to the scene of the crime with his tongue out and five fingers up
BOOKED
Sun 08 Nov 2026, 01:57:19, coffee cubby, Fey
EVIDENCE
[download PNG, 2000x1514, 67K] [open]

     *         o          )(          *          ~         @          <>         *    o
7'-    ,~@~@~@~@,       ,~@~@~@~@,       ,~@~@~@~@,       ,~@~@~@~@,       ,~@~@~@~@,
      (@~@~@~@~@~)     (@~@~@~@~@~)     (@~@~@~@~@~)     (@~@~@~@~@~)     (@~@~@~@~@~)
      (/ ~~   ~~ \)    (/ ~~   ~~ \)    (/ ~~   ~~ \)    (/ ~~   ~~ \)    (/ ~~   ~~ \)
       | -o   -o |      | (o)  <. |      | ^     ^ |      | --   -- |      |    @    |
       |    /    |      |    /    |      |    /    |      |    /    |      |    /    |
       |   /_    |      |   /_    |      |   /_    |      |   /_    |      |   /_    |
       |  '--'   |      |   ==    |      | \_____/ |      |   o     |      |   ---   |
        \_______/        \_______/        \_______/        \_______/        \_______/
6'-   __/|\   /|\__    __/|\   /|\__    __/|\   /|\__    __/|\   /|\__    __/|\   /|\__
     /   | \_/ |   \  /   | \_/ |   \  /   | \_/ |   \  /   | \_/ |   \  /   | \_/ |   \
    /    |  |  |    \/    |  |  |    \/    |  |  |    \/    |  |  |    \/    |  |  |    \
  - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
5'-    .---------.       ,~@~@~@~@,       ,~@~@~@~@,       ,~@~@~@~@,       ,~@~@~@~@,
      / .-------. \    (@~@~@~@~@~)     (@~@~@~@~@~)     (@~@~@~@~@~)     (@~@~@~@~@~)
      | (~~   ~~) |    (/ ~~   ~~ \)    (/ ~~   ~~ \)    (/ ~~   ~~ \)    (/ ~~   ~~ \)
       | o-   o- |      | *     * |      | o     o |      | .>  (o) |      | -o   -o |
       |    /    |      |    /    |      |    /    |      |    /    |      |    /    |
       |   /_    |      |   /_    |      |   /_    |      |   /_    |      |   /_    |
       |  .--.   |      |   ~~~   |      |  '-U-'  |      |  <==    |      |   --    |
        \_______/        \_______/        \_______/        \_______/        \_______/
4'-   __/|\   /|\__    __/|\   /|\__    __/|\   /|\__    __/|\   /|\__    __/|\   /|\__
     /   | \_/ |   \  /   | \_/ |   \  /   | \_/ |   \  /   | \_/ |   \  /   | \_/ |   \
    /    |  |  |    \/    |  |  |    \/    |  |  |    \/    |  |  |    \/    |  |  |    \
     o         ~          *           @          )(          *         <>        ~     *
                     .-------------------------------------------.
                     |   SUSPECT No. 0025                        |
                     |        ╔═╗┬┬  ┬  ┌─┐                      |
                     |        ╔═╝││  │  ├─┤      x 10            |
                     |        ╚═╝┴┴─┘┴─┘┴ ┴                      |
                     '-------------------------------------------'
                                                                            wib&wob

SUSPECT No. 0025

NAME
Zilla
CHARGED WITH
multiplying himself by ten kinds of ten without a permit
BOOKED
Sun 08 Nov 2026, 02:04:07, coffee cubby, Fey
EVIDENCE
[download PNG, 2000x1477, 93K] [open]

   *        o              )(                @                <>          *      o
7'- - -             .-~~~~~~~~/|\~~~~~~~~-.                          ~
                 .-'   /    /     \    \   '-.          *
               .'   /   /  /       \  \   \   '.                 )(
6'- - -       /  /   |                   |   \  \
              |  |   |  .----.    .--.   |   |  |          o
              |  |   | ( ~~~~ )  ( ~~ )  |   |  |     *     \
              |  |   |  \.--./    \--<   |   |  |            \
5'- - -       |  |   |  ( (o) )    <o    |   |  |             @
              |  |   |   '--'      /     |   |  |
              |  |   |            /      |   |  |       <>
              |  |   |           /__.    |   |  |
4'- - -       |  |   | .~~~~~~~~~~~~~.   |   |  |    *
              |  |   |(   '-------'   )  |   |  |
              |  |   | \  \|||||||/  /   |   |  |          o
              |  |    \     \|||||/     /    |  |
3'- - -        \ |      \    \|||/    /      | /       )(
                \|        '.  \|/  .'        |/
                _|__________'-.v.-'__________|_
               /      \       \ | /       /      \
2'- - -       /    o   \       \|/       /   o    \     ~
             /          \       |       /          \
        .----------------------------------------------------------.
        |  SUSPECT No. 0026                                        |
        |      _/_/_/_/_/  _/  _/  _/                              |
        |           _/        _/  _/    _/_/_/                     |
        |        _/      _/  _/  _/  _/    _/                      |
        |     _/        _/  _/  _/  _/    _/                       |
        |  _/_/_/_/_/  _/  _/  _/    _/_/_/                        |
        '----------------------------------------------------------'
                                                              wib&wob

SUSPECT No. 0026

NAME
Zilla
CHARGED WITH
growing long hair and a beard in the two minutes between photos
BOOKED
Sun 08 Nov 2026, 02:07:46, coffee cubby, Fey
EVIDENCE
[download PNG, 2000x1549, 55K] [open]

7'- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
      *          o                 )(                  <>             __       *
                                          .-----------.             <(o )___
6'- - -                               .-''             ''-.           ( ._> /
            .-~~~~-.                .'                     '.          `---'
          .' /||||\ '.             /                         \           \
         / //||||||\\ \           |                           |           \
        | //        \\ |          |   .---.                   |            o
        ||/ .--. .--. \||        <   ( (@) )      .-.          |
5'- - - ||--(  )-(  )--||         \   '---'      ( @ )         |     )(
        ||   '--' '--'  ||         >              '-'         /
        ||      /        ||       /__                         |
        ||     /_        ||          )  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   _   |     *
        ||   .----.      ||         ///////////////////( )   /
4'- - - ||    '--'       ||        ////////////////////'    /
       /||               ||\       \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\/       <>
      / ||    |    |     || \       '\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'
     /  ||   _|    |_    ||  \        |                  |
3'- - - /   / |    | \       \   .---'                  '---.     ~
       /   /  '.  .'  \       \ /    \                  /    \
      /   /     \/     \       /      \      .--.      /      \
                                         ____             _
        .-------------------------.     |  _ \ _   _  ___| | __
        |  SUSPECT No. 0027       |     | | | | | | |/ __| |/ /
        |  kitchen, after two     |     | |_| | |_| | (__|   <
        '-------------------------'     |____/ \__,_|\___|_|\_\
                                                                             wib&wob

SUSPECT No. 0027

NAME
Duck
CHARGED WITH
answering to Duck while the whole kitchen looked the other way
BOOKED
Sun 08 Nov 2026, 02:09:10, coffee cubby, Fey
EVIDENCE
[download PNG, 2000x1295, 56K] [open]

                     \\|//
       *              \|/        o          )(                 <>       *
7'- - - - - - - - - - |#|- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
                      | |    \  |  /                               ~
                      | |               .-~~~~~-.
                      | |            .-'/////////'-.                 o
6'- - -               | |           /  //////////   \               /
                      | |          |  /         \\   |             /
         .----.       | |          |  |  .--.  .-.  \|   <>-------'
       .'      '.     / /          |  | (  o )( o)   |
      /  .-. .-. \   / /          (|  |  '--'  '-'   |)
     |--(o )-(o )--|/ /            |  \     /        |
      \  '-' '-'  /  /             |   \   /_   ,,   |
5'- -  |    /    |  /               \  ///~~~~~///  /
       |   /_    | /                 |//////////////|
        \ ////// |/                  \//////////////
         \//////'|                    '\\\\\\\\\\'
        __|____|_|__                ___/\  /|\  /\___
       /    |    |   \             /   \ \/ * \/ /   \
      /     | * *|    \           / |   \ *  @ */   | \
     /    *  \_/      |\         /  |    |~*~*|     |  \
4'- |   /      |      | |        |  |    |*@ *|     |  |
    |  / .-.   |      | |        |  |    |~*~*|     |  |
    | | (___)  |      | |        |  |    | * @|     |  |
    | |  |_|   |      | |        |  |    |*~*~|     |  |
                                                 ______     _ _
    .-----------------------------------.        | ___ \   | | |
    |  SUSPECT No. 0028                 |        | |_/ /__ | | |_   _
    |  plus one accomplice, arm raised  |        |  __/ _ \| | | | | |
    |  countdown by the screen          |        | | | (_) | | | |_| |
    '-----------------------------------'        \_|  \___/|_|_|\__, |
                                                                 __/ |
                                                                |___/   wib&wob

SUSPECT No. 0028

NAME
Polly & the Raised Arm
CHARGED WITH
demanding a countdown while an accomplice raised the roof
BOOKED
Sun 08 Nov 2026, 02:10:05, coffee cubby, Fey
EVIDENCE
[download PNG, 2000x1677, 73K] [open]

   *           o            .-.            )(              <>         *        o
7'- - - - - - - - - - - - -( @ )- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
                            '-'
          |            .---------------------------.  \              |
          |            | .-----------. .---------. |   \             |
          |            | |           | |         | |    o            |
6'- - -   |            | |           | |         | |                 |
          |            | '-----------' '---------' |                 |
          |            |---------------------------|                 |
          |            | |  ___  ___ |  _   _ _  | |      ,*,        |
          |            | | (___)(___)| (_) (_|_) | |     (*@*)       |
          |            | |-----------|-----------| |      \|/        |
5'- - -   |            | | .-.  .-.  |  .--. .-. | |       |         |
   .-.    |            | |(___)(___) | (____)(_) | |      (_)        |
  (o o)   |            | |-----------|-----------| |      | |        |
   |=|    |            | |___________|___________| |    .-' '-.      |
  .---.   |            | |      |\     /|        | |    |     |      |   .--.
 ( ~~~ )  |            | |      | \   / |        | |    |     |      |  (    )
 |     |  |            | |      |  \ /  |        | |    |     |      |   '-''---.
 |_____|  |            | |      |  / \  |        | |    |     |      |    _____ \
4'- - -   |            | |      |=/===\=|        | |    |     |      |   /     \ |
          |            | |      ||     ||        | |    |     |      |  |       ||
          |            | |      ||     ||        | |    |     |      |  |_______|/
          |            | |_____ ||_____||________| |    |     |      |  ////////
          |            |/                         \|    |     |      | ////////
3'- - -   |           /                             \   |     |      |////////
          |__________/_______________________________\__|_____|______|///////
                                                       _ _ _  _  |  _  _ |  _ ._
   .------------------------------------.             _|_|_  _  |  _  _ |  _ ._
   |  SUSPECT No. 0029                  |              |_| |(/_ |_(_)(_)|<(/_|
   |  last seen: just out of shot       |
   '------------------------------------'                                wib&wob

SUSPECT No. 0029

NAME
the Looker
CHARGED WITH
looking at the mugshots so hard they vanished from their own
BOOKED
Sun 08 Nov 2026, 02:13:01, coffee cubby, Fey
EVIDENCE
[download PNG, 2000x1576, 61K] [open]

 7'- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
     *            o               _.-''''''-._                    )(              *
          )(                   .-'/ / / | \ \ \`-.                          o
   ~            <>            / / / / / | \ \ \ \ \          *        ___
 6'- - - - - - - - - - - - - |__/_/_/__|___\_\_\__|- - - - - - - - - -|   |- - - - - -
        @          *       .-|  ___         ___   |-.                 |   |
             ~             ( | (-.-)       <=-.\   | )       ~        `| |'
     o                      `|   ``     |    ``   |'                  | |  *
                             |         /|          |                  | |
 5'- - - - - - - - - - - - - |\\\    _/ |__   ///|- - - - - - - - - - | |- - - - - -
           *       )(       /\\\\\  (______) /////\           .-------' `-------.
                           /\\\\\\  .------. //////\          |  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~  |
        ~                 |\\\\\\\ /        \ //////|          \_______________/
                          |\\\\\\\|  .----.  |//////|                 o
 4'- - - - - - - - - - - -|\\\\\\\ \ |    | / //////|- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
                           \\\\\\\\ `|    |' //////
                            \\\\\\\\ |    | //////          *
                     <>      \\\\\\\ | || | /////        )(
                              \\\\\\ |    | ////
 3'- - - - - - - - - - - - - - \\\\\ `.__.' ///- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
                     .-----------\\\\\\////////-----------.
                    /             \\\\\\//////             \
                   /    .------------------------------.    \
                  |     |   SUSPECT No. 0030           |     |
                  |     |   +-+-+-+-+                  |     |
                  |     |   |P|a|u|l|                  |     |
                  |     |   +-+-+-+-+   GLITCH . FEY   |     |
                  |     '------------------------------'     |
                                                         wib&wob

SUSPECT No. 0030

NAME
Paul
CHARGED WITH
sticking his tongue out at the police camera at quarter past two
BOOKED
Sun 08 Nov 2026, 02:15:15, coffee cubby, Fey
EVIDENCE
[download PNG, 2000x1338, 62K] [open]

 7'- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
        *          @@                  __/\__                       o       )(
   .-.       ~   @@  @@           .-""\  \/  /""-.      *                 .-.
  ( * )            @@            ( oo  '----'    )~~      ~    <>        ( @ )
   '-'   \                        `-.,_  ____ ,-'                 .       '-'
 6'- - - -\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - ||- -||- - - - - - - - - - -\- - - - - - -
           \       .-~-.-~~-.-~~-.-~-.          .  *   ~              \
      @@    o   .-( @@ ( @@@ ) @@  @@ )-.             .-.            ___
    @@  @@     ( @@ .-~~-.-~~-.-~~-.  @@ )           (   )          /   \
      @@      (@@ / ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ \  @@)            )-(          | o o |
 5'- - - - - -(@-/- - - - - - - - - -\- @)- - - - - - (   )- - - - -|  =  |- - - -
              (@|   ___       ___    | @)            /|  |\          \___/
               (|  / _ \     <@)     |)             / |  | \        _|   |_
               (|  ( @ )  \    '     |)               |  |         | |~ ~| |
                |   \_/    \         |                |__|         | |~ ~| |
 4'- - - - - - -|- - - - - -> - - - -|- - - - - - - - -/\- - - - - | |~ ~| |- - -
         ~      |         _/         |      *          /  \        |_|___|_|
                 \      .____.      /                                 | |
     <>           \      '--'      /           o    ~                 | |
                   '.            .'      ________________________________
                     '-.______.-'       |                                |
 3'- - - - - - - - - - _|    |_ - - - - | SUSPECT No. 0031               |- - - - -
                 .----'  \  /  '----.   |                                |
         @@     /  .---.  \/  .---.  \  |       P R I M A   V E R A      |
       @@  @@  /  /     \ |  | /     \ \|                                |
         @@   |  | o   o ||o | o   o |  | charged with arriving with a    |
 2'- - - - - -|- | - - - ||- |- - - -| -| flying pig and claiming kinship |- - - -
              |  |       ||o |       |  | with a laptop at half past two  |
              |  |       ||  |       |  |________________________________|
       *      |  |       ||o |       |  |       ~       )(      .-.
 1'- - - - - -|- '-------'|- '-------'-.|- - - - - - - - - - - ( * )- - - - - - -
              '-----------'-----------'           @@            '-'
                                                @@  @@                  wib&wob

SUSPECT No. 0031

NAME
Prima Vera
CHARGED WITH
arriving with a flying pig and claiming kinship with a laptop at half past two
BOOKED
Sun 08 Nov 2026, 02:25:54, coffee cubby, Fey
EVIDENCE
[download PNG, 2000x1603, 87K] [open]

 7'- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
      *        o            ( )                 .-------.           *        <>
   )(     .-~~~-.     ~      |    .--.         /  .--.   \     o          ~
         ( @  @ )        o   |   ( () )       |  ( () )   |        @   ___
 6'- - - -'.__.'- - - - - - -|- - -'--'- - - - -\  '--'  /- - - - - - |o o|- - - - - -
     ~       |     ___       |      .-.          '-.____.'      ~      | ^ |  *
           __|__  /   \    .-+-.   ( . )   .-~~~~~~~~~~~-.             |___|
 5'- - - -/  |  \|_____|- -|   |- - '-'- -/ ////////////  \- - - - - - -/ \- - - - - - -
  .~~~~.     |    |   |    | | |         | //.------.//// |       ___
 (/~~~~\)    |    | | |    | | |         |/ / o    -  \ ///      /   \     *
 ((o  -))   / \   |   |    '-+-'         || ( (@)  <-) )//      | ^ ^ |
 ( \_/ )   /   \  |___|      |           || |   /|    | |/      |  w  |
 4'(~)- - - - - - - - - - - -|- - - - - -||-|  /_|    |-|- - - -  \___/- - - - - - - - -
  /'-'\ .-.                  |    .--.   | \ \.____./ /|         (     )
 / ~~~ (o o)  ___            |   / /\ \  |  \/\\\\\\\/  |   .-.   \   /
|  ~ ~  \_/  /   \  )(       |  | |  | |  \  \\\\\\\\  /   | | |   '-'
| ~ ~ ~ / \ | pig |          | / / /\ \ \  '._\\\\\\_.'    | | |
 3'- - - - -|_____|- - - - -|-|/  \/  \|- - |  |  | - - - | | | - - - - - - - - - - -
            (_) (_)         | |  .--.  |    /'-.|.-'\     _| | |_
    @          ~             | | ( {} ) | .-'  @ |@  '-. (__|_|__)    o       ~
           ~        *       | |  '--'  |/ ~ {}  |  {} ~\              )(
 2'- - - - - - - - - - - - -|-|- - - - |  @  ~ |  ~  @ |- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
  *    <>        o           | | .--.  | {}  @  |  @ {}  |     *          @
                              |_|( {} )_|   ~   |  ~    |            <>
                                  '--'     .-------------.
            +--------------------------------------------------------------+
 1'- - - - -|  SUSPECT No. 0032                                            |- - - - -
            |   _   _          ___        _            _                   |
            |  | |_| |_  ___  | _ \___ __| |_ __ _ _ _| |_ ___ _ _          |
            |  |  _| ' \/ -_) |   / -_|_-<  _/ _` | '_|  _/ -_) '_|         |
            |   \__|_||_\___| |_|_\___/__/\__\__,_|_|  \__\___|_|           |
            +--------------------------------------------------------------+
                                                                    wib&wob

SUSPECT No. 0032

NAME
the Restarter
CHARGED WITH
restarting the booth at half past two and waving through the reboot with two accomplices a
BOOKED
Sun 08 Nov 2026, 02:26:59, coffee cubby, Fey
EVIDENCE
[download PNG, 2000x1535, 85K] [open]

 7'- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    *        )(          o                     ~            @          *         <>
          .~~~~~~~~.              ~                   ////////////////
 6'- - - (~(~(~~)~)~)- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - /////////////////\- - - - - - - - - -
        (~ /\    /\ ~)       *        o            ///  /\      /\  \\\        )(
       (~  \/    \/  ~)                           |||   \/      \/   |||
       ( .-~~-.  .--. )      ~        @           |||  ( @ )  (  <)  |||    ~
 5'- -(  ( o  )  |o<| )- - - - - - - - - - - - - -|||       ___      |||- - - - - - - - -
       ( '--'    '-' )     ___                    ||| .-~~~~~~~~~-.  |||
        (    .--.    )    / ) )   <>               \\(   (o)   (o)  )//       *
   o     \  ( oo )  /    ( ( (         .--.         \\\  '-~~~~~-'  ///
 4'- - - -\  '--'  /- - - \ \ \- - - - |  |- - - - - -\\\\\ \___/ /////- - - - - - - - - -
           '.____.'    ___/ / /       /  /             \\\\\\\\\/////
        ____)    (____/  /_/   ~     /  /      .--.     \\\\\\\\\///   .-------.
       /   '-.  .-'   \      .-.    (  (      / /\ \     '\\\\\\\/'   / /|  |\ \
 3'- -/  .--. \/ .--.  \- - (o.o)- - \  \- - | |  | |- - -.-' '-.- - | | |  | | |- - - - -
     |  ( {} )  ( {} )  |    \_/      \  \   \ \/ /    .-'  @  {}'-.  \ \|  |/ /
     |   '--'    '--'   |   / | \      |  |   '--'   /  ~  /|\  ~  \  '-------'
     |    .-~~~~~~~-.   |               |__|        |  {}  / | \  @  |      @
 2'- |   /  ~  ~  ~  \  |- - - - - - - - - - - - - -|  @  /  |  \ {} |- - - - - - - - - - -
     |  (  ~  ~  ~  ~ ) |     o        ~      *     | ~  /   |   \ ~  |       ~
          ~        *                <>                             o          )(
            +------------------------------------------------------------------+
 1'- - - - -|  SUSPECT No. 0033                                                |- - - - -
            |  ╺━┓╻╻  ╻  ┏━┓   ┏┓     ┏━┓┏━╸┏━╸┏━┓┏┳┓┏━┓╻  ╻┏━╸┏━╸            |
            |  ┏━┛┃┃  ┃  ┣━┫   ┃╺╋╸   ┣━┫┃  ┃  ┃ ┃┃┃┃┣━┛┃  ┃┃  ┣╸             |
            |  ┗━╸╹┗━╸┗━╸╹ ╹   ┗━┛    ╹ ╹┗━╸┗━╸┗━┛╹ ╹╹  ┗━╸╹┗━╸┗━╸            |
            +------------------------------------------------------------------+
                                                                       wib&wob

SUSPECT No. 0033

NAME
Zilla & Accomplice
CHARGED WITH
turning themselves into two human piggies at twenty-seven minutes past two
BOOKED
Sun 08 Nov 2026, 02:27:57, coffee cubby, Fey
EVIDENCE
[download PNG, 2000x1324, 82K] [open]

 7'- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
     *          ~           <>          o         )(           *         ~           @
          ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,                       .-.                  .--.
 6'- - -//////////////////,- - - - - - - - - -(   )- - - - - - - - (o  )- - - - - - - - -
      ////////////////////),                   '-'      ~           '--'      *
     ///////////////////////)\        o                      )(
    |//////////''''''''//////  \                     |||          ~        <>
 5'-|/////''          ''//// -  \- - - - - - - - - -|||- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    |///'      .--.       '   <  )                 .-'''-.
    |//       ( (@)>  ___     \  \        *       /  @    \      o
    |/        '--'   /       /   /                \  o  @  /             ~
 4'-|'              (       <  -'- - - - - - - - - '.___.'- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
     \               '.     _)                        |
      \     \          '---'          ~                |   .--.       )(        *
       '.    '.__..--'                         <>       |  (    )
 3'- - - -'.  |   / - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - |- '--' - - - - - - - - - - - - -
     .-----'  |  '-------.        .-~~~~~-.
    /   ////  |  ////     \     .' ~ .--. ~'.          ~         o
   /  ////    '._  ////    \   ( ~  (o  o) ~ )-.
  |  ////        '-.  ////  | ( ~ ~  '><'  ~ )  )        *              <>
 2'- ////- - - - - - '-.////|- (~ ~ ~ \/ ~ ~ ~)-'- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
  | ////   ____         './/|   '-.~ ~ ~ ~ .-'    @         ~        )(
  |////   /    \___________\__ /  '-------'\
  |///   |  hoodie pocket  ___/ (__)    (__)       ~          *          o
            +----------------------------------------------------------------+
 1'- - - - -|  SUSPECT No. 0034                                              |- - - - -
            |   _   _         __      ___ _                                  |
            |  | |_| |_  ___  \ \    / (_) |_ _ _  ___ ______                |
            |  |  _| ' \/ -_)  \ \/\/ /| |  _| ' \/ -_|_-<_-<                |
            |   \__|_||_\___|   \_/\_/ |_|\__|_||_\___/__/__/                |
            +----------------------------------------------------------------+
                                                                       wib&wob

SUSPECT No. 0034

NAME
the Witness
CHARGED WITH
giving testimony in profile while smuggling a small fluffy accomplice past the sink
BOOKED
Sun 08 Nov 2026, 02:39:13, coffee cubby, Fey
EVIDENCE
[download PNG, 2000x1432, 75K] [open]

 7'- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    *         )(            .------------------------------.        ~          <>
         o                  |   ________      ________     |   *          o
 6'- - - - - - - - - - - - -|  |        |    |        |    |- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
     ~         <>           |  |________|    |________|    |         )(
                            |______________________________|    @           *
           .-'''-.          | ___  ___   _   _    .-.     |
 5'- - - -/ ,',', \- - - - -||( )||( )| (_) (_)  (  @)    |- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
         | ,',',', |        |'---''---'  ___ ___   \|/    |        ~
         |',',',',.|   ~    | ( )  ( )  (___X___)   |     |     o         <>
          \',',','/         |'---''---'  ___ ___   / \    |
 4'- - - - )'---'( - - - - -|  .------.    |  |   '-'     |- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
       .--'     '--.        |  |      |    |  |           |      *        ~
      /  |       |  \       |__|______|____|__|___________|
     /   |   ||  |   \           /  /   \  \                 )(          @
 3'-/- - | - || -|- - \- - - - -/  /- - -\  \- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
   /     |   ||  |     \       /  /       \  \        ~            o
  (  )   |   ||  |   (  )     /  /    <>   \  \               *
   ''    |   ||  |    ''     /  /           \  \      @                  ~
 2'- - - |   ||  | - - - - -/  /- - - - - - -\  \- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
         |   /\  |         /  /      *        \  \        <>         )(
         |  /  \ |   ~    /  /                 \  \             o
         | /    \|       /  /         o         \  \     *
            +----------------------------------------------------------------+
 1'- - - - -|  SUSPECT No. 0035                                              |- - - - -
            |  ┌┬┐┬ ┬┌─┐  ╔═╗┬┌─┐┌┬┐┬ ┬┬─┐┌─┐  ┌─┐┌─┐  ┌┬┐┬ ┬┌─┐  ╔╦╗┌─┐┬ ┬  |
            |   │ ├─┤├┤   ╠═╝││   │ │ │├┬┘├┤   │ │├┤    │ ├─┤├┤    ║║├─┤└┬┘  |
            |   ┴ ┴ ┴└─┘  ╩  ┴└─┘ ┴ └─┘┴└─└─┘  └─┘└     ┴ ┴ ┴└─┘  ═╩╝┴ ┴ ┴   |
            +----------------------------------------------------------------+
                                                                       wib&wob

SUSPECT No. 0035

NAME
the Picture of the Day
CHARGED WITH
agreeing to the picture of the day and walking straight out of it towards the mugs
BOOKED
Sun 08 Nov 2026, 02:46:49, coffee cubby, Fey
EVIDENCE
[download PNG, 2000x1351, 57K] [open]

 7'- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    *      )(        ~       .-~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~-.                ~        <>       o
       \  |  /           .-~ ////////////////// ~-.        \  |  /            *
 6'- - -\ | /- - - - - -/ //////////////////////// \- - - - -\ | /- - - - - - - - - - - - -
     -- (( )) --   _   | //////  .--------.  ////// |  _   -- (( )) --     ~
         / | \    | |  |/////  .'          '. /////|  | | _    / | \
     _  /  |  \ _ | | _| ////  |            | //// | _| || |        _        )(
 5'-| |- - - - | || || | |///- | .--.   .-. | ///- || || || |- - - | |- - - - - - - - - - -
    | | _      | || || | ||    |( <@ )  (@)|    ||| || || | _     | |      o
    | || |  _  | || || | ||    | '--'   '-'|    ||| || || || | _  | |  _
    | || | | |  \     / /||     \    /|    /     ||\  \    || || | || | | |    *
 4'-| || | | |- -\   / / ||- - - \  /_|   /- - - || \  \  - - - - || | | |- - - - - - - - -
     \   ' ' |    \ / /  ||   ,,,,\ ____ /,,,,   ||  \  \/     |  '  ' /
      \      |     ( (   ||  ,,,,,(  <>  ),,,,,  ||   )  )     |      /     ~
       \    /       \ \   \ ,,,,,,,'--',,,,,,,, /   / /       \    /
 3'- - -\  /- - - - -\ \- -\,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,/- -/ /- - - - - -\  /- - - - - - - - - - - -
         ||           \ \   ',,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,'   / /             ||       @
     ~   ||   *        \ '._   ',,,,,,,,,,,'   _.' /       <>     ||            o
         ||             '-. '-.   |  @{}  | .-' .-'                ||
 2'- - - ||- - - - - - - - |    '-|{} @{}|-'    |- - - - - - - - - ||- - - - - - - - - - -
    )(               ~     |      |@  {} |      |      *                   ~
                           |      | {}  @|      |              o        <>
            +----------------------------------------------------------------+
 1'- - - - -|  SUSPECT No. 0036                                              |- - - - -
            |    ___,                                                        |
            |   /   |          o                                             |
            |  |    |   __ _|_     __   _  _                                 |
            |  |    |  /    |  |  /  \_/ |/ |                                |
            |   \__/\_/\___/|_/|_/\__/   |  |_/                              |
            +----------------------------------------------------------------+
                                                                       wib&wob

SUSPECT No. 0036

NAME
Action
CHARGED WITH
framing his own face with jazz hands at eight minutes to three and calling it action
BOOKED
Sun 08 Nov 2026, 02:53:17, coffee cubby, Fey
EVIDENCE
[download PNG, 2000x1392, 73K] [open]

  7'- - - - - -    *          .           o            )(            *          <>
               |                                                    .
               |              .-'''''''''''''-.            ~               @
  6'- - - - - -|           .-'                 '-.               .--.
               |          /                       \       o     ( ** )       )(
               |         |       .           .     |             '--'
               |         |    _______     ________ |      *             ~~~~~~~
  5'- - - - - -|         |   /       \___/  ,   \ \|         <>          ~~~~~
               |        (|--|   (@)   |   |  <(   |-|)                 ~~~
               |         |   \_______/     \______/|     .-.
               |         |        ~      /\     ~  |    ( @ )------.
  4'- - - - - -|          \             /  \       /     '-'        \
               |           \  .-~~~~~~./___/~~~~-./                  \
               |           .\(__.-~~~~~~~~~~~-.__)/.                  |
               |         .'//|\\\\   ( o )   ////|\\'.        *       |
  3'- - - - - -|        / ///|\\\\\\  '-'  //////|\\\ \               o
               |       / ////||\\\\\\\\|//////////||\\\ \      )(
               |      /  .--. \\\\\\\\\|/////////  .---. \          <>
               |     |  ( () ) \\\\\\\\|////////  / .-. \ |   *
  2'- - - - - -|     |   '--'   \\\\\\\|///////  | ( o ) ||
               |     |  .-----.  \\\\\\|//////   |  '-'  ||      ~~~~
               |     |  |/\/\/|   \\\\\|/////     \_____/ |
               |     |  '-----'  .--.  |  .---------.     |    .
  1'- - - - - -|     |    ( )   (    ) | (  ) ( )  )  @   |
               |     |  .-'-.    '--'  |  '---------'     |       *
    ___________|_____|____________________________________|_____________________
   |                                                                            |
   |   SUSPECT No. 0037      ___                         _  __ __       _       |
   |                        /  _)                       ( )/_/(  )     ( )      |
   |   FEY / GLITCH         \_"-.  _ _  ___  ___  __   _| |   /  \  __ | |  ___ |
   |   03:03                 __) )( U )( o \( o_)( _) / o )  ( O  )( _)( _)( o_)|
   |                        /___/ /___\/ __/ \(  /_\  \___\   \__/ /_\ /_\  \(  |
   |                                   |_|                                      |
   |____________________________________________________________________________|
                                                                        wib&wob

SUSPECT No. 0037

NAME
Super d'Orte
CHARGED WITH
giving a name no one could spell at three in the morning
BOOKED
Sun 08 Nov 2026, 03:03:59, coffee cubby, Fey
EVIDENCE
[download PNG, 2000x1729, 86K] [open]

  7'- - - - - -    *         )(           .             o           <>         *
               |                                                         .
               |               .-~~~~~~~~~~~~-.               *
  6'- - - - - -|            .-' ////////////// '-.        ~~~        .--.
               |           / /////////////////////\              ( oo )    )(
               |          |//'                 '\\|      o        '--'
               |          |/    ____       ___   \|           *
  5'- - - - - -|         (|    /    \      ---    |)      <>              ~~~~
               |         ||   | (@)  |    ~~~~~   ||               .-.
               |          |    \____/     ,       |       *       ( ~ )-----.
               |          |          /\  <(       |                '-'       \
  4'- - - - - -|           \        /__)          /           .               \
               |            \ .-'\\\\\\\\\\\\'-. /      o                      |
               |             )\\\\\\ .--. ////(                    )(          o
               |             '.\\\\\\\'--'////.'        .-.
  3'- - - - - -|          .---'\\\\\\\\\/////'---.     (   )  *        ~~~~
               |        .'     | (\  /) |  \/ |   '.    '-'     ,--.
               |       /   .   |  \\//  | /\  |  .  \          ( /\ )   <>
               |      |   /|   | ,-''-. |(  ) |  |\  |      .   \/ /
  2'- - - - - -|      |  / |   |( >< )| | \/  |  | \ |      |\  |  |  *
               |      | /  |   | '--' /\ ,--. |  |  \|     /  \ |  |
               |      |/   |   |  /\ (  )(  ) |  |   |    / \/ \|  |
               |      |    |   | (  ) \/  '-' |  |   |   '------'--'
  1'- - - - - -|      |    |   |  \/   ,-.    |  |   |        ~~~
    ___________|______|____|___|_______(___)__|__|___|______________________
   |                                                                        |
   |  SUSPECT No. 0038     ______         _           _____            _    |
   |                      |  ____|       | |         |  __ \          | |   |
   |  FEY / GLITCH        | |__ __ _ _ __| |_ _   _  | |__) |_ _ _ __ | |_  |
   |  03:07               |  __/ _` | '__| __| | | | |  ___/ _` | '_ \| __| |
   |                      | | | (_| | |  | |_| |_| | | |  | (_| | | | | |_  |
   |                      |_|  \__,_|_|   \__|\__, | |_|   \__,_|_| |_|\__| |
   |                                           __/ |                        |
   |_______________________________________________________________________ |
                                                                    wib&wob

SUSPECT No. 0038

NAME
Farty Pants
CHARGED WITH
singing Friday six times on a Sunday and then renaming himself Farty Pants
BOOKED
Sun 08 Nov 2026, 03:08:01, coffee cubby, Fey
EVIDENCE
[download PNG, 2000x1769, 77K] [open]

 7'- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
      *            o              _.-~~~~~~~~~~-._              (  )         *
  )(                           .-'  ////////////// '-.        <>        o
             ~       *       .'  ///////////////////  '.                    @
 6'- - - - - - - - - - - - -/  /////////.--.////////   \- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
          .-.              |  //////.-''    ''-.///    |           *        _
         ( | )     o       | ///.-'            '-.\    |\      ~ ~       .-' |
         | | |            /|/'    ___        ___   '\  | )               |  _|
         | | |           ( |    .'_o_'.     <==-    \ |/     .--.        | |
 5'- - - | | |- - - - - - \|      '-'   |    '       |- - - | () |- - - -|_|- - - - - -
         | | |      *      |            |            |      | () |         \\
     ____| | |____         |           /_\           |      '-..-'          \\__
    /    | | |    \        \          (___)         /         ||         .-'    '.
   |  .--' | '--.  |        \     .-~~~~~~~~~~-.   /          ||  )(    '-.____.-'
 4'|-(   .-'-.   )-|- - - - -\   ( ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ) / - - - -___||___- - - - - - - - - -
   |  '-(     )-'  |          \ \|/|\|/|\|/|\|/ /         |________|     *
   |     '---'     |           |\ \|/|\|/|\|/ /|      o
    \             /            | '-.\|/|\|/.-' |                  <>
     '.         .'     .------/'    '-\|/-'    '\------.
       '-------'      /  /\/\/\ \     | |     / /\/\/\  \        ~      *
 3'- - - - - - - - - |  \/\/\/  |\    | |    /|  \/\/\/  |- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
        *            |  /\/\/\  | \   |_|   / |  /\/\/\  |    o
        ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
        │  SUSPECT No. 0039                                    FEY · 03:08  │
        │                                                                  │
        │  ┌┬┐┬ ┬┌─┐  ╔╦╗┬ ┬┬─┐┌─┐┌─┐  ╔═╗╔═╗┬  ┌─┐┌─┐┬┌─  ╦ ╦┌─┐┌─┐┬ ┬  │
        │   │ ├─┤├┤    ║ ├─┤├┬┘├┤ ├┤   ║ ║║  │  │ ││  ├┴┐  ╚╦╝├┤ ├─┤├─┤  │
        │   ┴ ┴ ┴└─┘   ╩ ┴ ┴┴└─└─┘└─┘  ╚═╝╚═╝┴─┘└─┘└─┘┴ ┴   ╩ └─┘┴ ┴┴ ┴  │
        │                                                                  │
        └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
                                                                       wib&wob

SUSPECT No. 0039

NAME
the Three O'Clock Yeah
CHARGED WITH
answering yeah to his own name, then pointing the finger straight back at the police camer
BOOKED
Sun 08 Nov 2026, 03:09:08, coffee cubby, Fey
EVIDENCE
[download PNG, 2000x1421, 69K] [open]

 7'- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    *     |  .--------------------------------.  |             )(          *
          |  |      |      ___.---.___      | |  |       o            _
   o      |  |      |     (___________)      | |  |                  .-' |
          |  |      |          | |           | |  |    *            |  _|
 6'- - - -|  |- - - |- - - - .-'''-.- - - - -| |- |- - - - - - - - -| |- - - - - - - -
          |  |______|     .'   .   '.  ______| |  |                  |_|
          |  |  _  _ _   :    . .    : _ _  _| |  |      @             \\
     ~    |  | (_)(_|_)  :   .   .   :(_|_)(_)| |  |                    \\__
          |  |_______    '.  '...'  .'  ______| |  |                 .-'    '.
 5'- - - -|  | o o o o o - -'.     .'- - o o o o| |- |- - - - - - - -'-.____.-'- - - -
          |  |   .:.       .''     ''.      .:.| |  |  <>
     *    |  |  (   )    .'  .       .'.   (   )| |  |                ________
          |  |___\_/___ :   .'.     .'. :___\_/| |  |      ~ ~      /  .--.  \
          |  |  |     | :  .   '...'   .: |    | |  |               |  (    )  |
 4'- - - -|  |- |- - -| : .  - - - - -  .:|- - | |- |- - - - - - - -|  '--'   |- - - -
          |  |  |  o  | :.      . .     .:| o  | |  |       o       \________/
   )(     |  |  |_____|  :     .   .    : |____| |  |
          |  |  |     |   :   .     .  :  |    | |  |    *               *
          |  |  |  o  |    : .       . :  | o  | |  |
 3'- - - -|__|__|_____|- - -'- - - - -'- -|____|_|__|- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
        ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
        │  SUSPECT No. 0040                                       FEY · 03:14  │
        │  _____________        _____                    ______                │
        │  __  __ \__  /____   ____(_)_________  ___________  /____  __        │
        │  _  / / /_  __ \_ | / /_  /_  __ \  / / /_  ___/_  /__  / / /        │
        │  / /_/ /_  /_/ /_ |/ /_  / / /_/ / /_/ /_(__  )_  / _  /_/ /         │
        │  \____/ /_.___/_____/ /_/  \____/\__,_/ /____/ /_/  _\__, /          │
        │                                                     /____/           │
        └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
                                                                         wib&wob

SUSPECT No. 0040

NAME
Obviously
CHARGED WITH
saying obviously and then, obviously, not appearing in the photo
BOOKED
Sun 08 Nov 2026, 03:14:54, coffee cubby, Fey
EVIDENCE
[download PNG, 2000x1421, 57K] [open]

 7'- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
     *        )(              ~~@~~                o          *            <>
                       .-~~-.       .-~~-.
   o        @        .'      '.   .'      '.             ~ ~                 *
 6'- - - - - - - - -(  ~~~~~~  )-(  ~~~~~~  )- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
                     '.      .'   '.      .'          *
        <>             '-..-'       '-..-'      .-.                o
                          \    ___    /        (   )
           *               \ .'   '. /          '-'    )(
 5'- - - - - - - - - - - - -/  o  -  \- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
                           |    <     |                                *
       ~ ~                 |   .--.   |         *
                            \  '~~'  /                    o
              o              '.___.'                                 ___
 4'- - - - - - - - - - - - - - _|_|_ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -.'   '.- - - - -
                        .-----'     '-----.                       |  .-.  |__
          *            /   .-------.      \      @                |  '-'  |  )
                      |   (   ,----'       |                       '._____.-'
                      |    '-'  <- me      |           *
 3'- - - - - - - - - -|- - - - - - - - - - |- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
        ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
        │  SUSPECT No. 0041                                       FEY · 03:16  │
        │                                                                      │
        │     ╔╗ ┬  ┌─┐┌┬┐┌─┐  ╔╦╗┬ ┬┌─┐┌─┐┬  ┌─┐                              │
        │     ╠╩╗│  ├─┤│││├┤   ║║║└┬┘└─┐├┤ │  ├┤                               │
        │     ╚═╝┴─┘┴ ┴┴ ┴└─┘  ╩ ╩ ┴ └─┘└─┘┴─┘└                                │
        │                                                                      │
        └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
                                                                         wib&wob

SUSPECT No. 0041

NAME
Blame Myself
CHARGED WITH
pleading guilty to everything before anyone asked, then leaving the doorway to take the ra
BOOKED
Sun 08 Nov 2026, 03:16:27, coffee cubby, Fey
EVIDENCE
[download PNG, 2000x1338, 39K] [open]

 7'- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
   *     ||   .------------------------------.   ||        )(            *        <>
         ||   |  .----------.  .----------.  |   ||   o
   o     ||   |  |  .----.  |  |   ___    |  |   ||            *      ~ ~
 6'- - - ||- -|- | ( () ) | |- |  <_o_>   |- |- -||- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
         ||   |  |  '----'  |  |          |  |   ||      @
    ~    ||   |  '----------'  '----------'  |   ||                   .-.
         ||   |_______________/\_____________|   ||     *            (   )   o
         ||   | u u u  u u u /  \  u u  u u  |   ||                   '-'
 5'- - - ||- -|- - - - - - -/____\ - - - - - |- -||- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
   )(    ||   |   _  _  _   _   _   _  _  _  |   ||                       ___
         ||   |  (_)(_)(_) (_) (_) (_)(_)(_) |   ||  <>             ,-'''   |
         ||   |------------------------------|   ||           _____/  .----'
         ||   |  .------.   .------.  .----. |   ||      *   |  _____|
 4'- - - ||- -|- |  '~~'  |-|  ~~  |- |    |-|- -||- - - - - |_|- - - - - - - - - - - -
         ||   |  |        | |      |  |    | |   ||      ,---. |_|    o
    *    ||   |  '------- ' '------'  '----' |   ||     /     \___________
         ||   |______________________________|   ||    /_______________________\
         ||  /:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: \ ||     \                     /
 3'- - - ||-/::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::\|- - - -\___________________/- - - - - -
        ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
        │  SUSPECT No. 0042                                       FEY · 03:19  │
        │             _                                                        │
        │  _|_|_  _  | \ _  _ ._    _.   \_/_  _.|_                            │
        │   |_| |(/_ |_/(_)(_)|\/\/(_|\/  |(/_(_|| |                           │
        │                             /                                        │
        │                                                                      │
        └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
                                                                         wib&wob

SUSPECT No. 0042

NAME
the Doorway Yeah
CHARGED WITH
saying yeah and then sending the empty doorway in to sit for him
BOOKED
Sun 08 Nov 2026, 03:20:05, coffee cubby, Fey
EVIDENCE
[download PNG, 2000x1338, 53K] [open]

 7'- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    *            <>               .-''''''-.                  o              )(
          o                    .-'    12    '-.                      *
                             .'  11    |     1 '.        ~ ~
 6'- - - - - - - - - - - - -/ 10       |       2 \- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
     ~ ~       @           |           |          |                  .--.
                           | 9         o        3 |     *          .' () '.
          *                |           |          |               (  .--.  )
                            \ 8        |       4 /        o        '.____.'
 5'- - - - - - - - - - - - - '. 7      |     5 .'- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
                               '-.     6    .-'       <>
      )(          .----.          '-......-'                          ___
                 /  __  \    *          |                        ,-'''   |
    o           |  (  )  |              |          *            /  .-----'
 4'- - - - - - -|- -''- -|- - - - - - - | - - - - - - - - - - -|_|- - - - - - - - - - -
                |  .--.  |=>           ~@~                      |_|        o
                | (    ) |                                ,------|-------.
         *       \ '--' /         o          )(          /                \
                 _'----'_                               |   ~~~~~~~~~~~~   |
 3'- - - - - - -(________)- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - '----------------'- - - - - -
        ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
        │  SUSPECT No. 0043                                       FEY · 03:32  │
        │   _   _       _  __   ____           _     _   _                     │
        │  | | | | __ _| |/ _| |  _ \ __ _ ___| |_  | | | |_ __ ___            │
        │  | |_| |/ _` | | |_  | |_) / _` / __| __| | | | | '_ ` _ \           │
        │  |  _  | (_| | |  _| |  __/ (_| \__ \ |_  | |_| | | | | | |          │
        │  |_| |_|\__,_|_|_|   |_|   \__,_|___/\__|  \___/|_| |_| |_|          │
        └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
                                                                         wib&wob

SUSPECT No. 0043

NAME
Half Past Um
CHARGED WITH
saying um at half past three and letting the kettle and the tap stand in for him
BOOKED
Sun 08 Nov 2026, 03:32:58, coffee cubby, Fey
EVIDENCE
[download PNG, 2000x1338, 48K] [open]

 7'- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
    *      ||  .---------------.---------------.  ||        )(            *        o
           ||  |               |               |  ||   o
   o       ||  |               |      .-''''-. |  ||             *      <>
 6'- - - - ||- |_______________|____.'        '.- ||- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
           ||  | ___  ___  ___ |   /            \ ||        @
     ~     ||  ||   ||   ||   ||  |   ,,,,,,,,   |||                     ~ ~
           ||  ||___||___||___|| |  ,'        ',  ||    *
           ||  |  ,-''-.       | |  |          |  ||                .-.
 5'- - - - ||- | //.--.\\- - - |-|  |          |- ||- - - - - - - -(   )- - - - - - - - -
           ||  |// o  o\\      |  \  '.      .'   ||                '-'       *
   )(      ||  ||  \__/ ||     |  .'  '------' '. ||
           ||  ||  '--' ||     | /   /|      |\  \||      *
           ||  /|  .''.  |\    |/   / |      | \  \|                  ___
 4'- - - - ||-/ | /    \ | \- -|   /  |      |  \  |- - - - - - - ,-'''   |- - - - - -
           || | |(  ||  )| |   |  |   |      |   | |   o         /  .----'
    *      || '-| \ || / |-'   |  |   |      |   | |       _____/  |
           ||   |  '||'  |     |  |  /|      |\  | |      |  ______|
           ||   |   ||   |     |  | / |      | \ | |      |_|          <>
 3'- - - - ||- -|- -||- -|- - -|- |/- |- - - |- \|-|- - - |_|- - - - - - - - - - - - -
           ||   '._/  \_.'     |  |   |      |   | |   ,------------------.
        ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
        │  SUSPECT No. 0044                                       FEY · 03:34  │
        │                                                                      │
        │  +-+-+-+ +-+-+-+-+-+-+ +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+ +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+           │
        │  |t|h|e| |C|o|f|f|e|e| |M|a|c|h|i|n|e| |W|h|i|s|p|e|r|e|r|           │
        │  +-+-+-+ +-+-+-+-+-+-+ +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+ +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+           │
        │                                                                      │
        └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
                                                                         wib&wob

SUSPECT No. 0044

NAME
the Coffee Machine Whisperer
CHARGED WITH
whispering to the coffee machine, then walking off through the doorway while a smiling acc
BOOKED
Sun 08 Nov 2026, 03:35:32, coffee cubby, Fey
EVIDENCE
[download PNG, 2000x1379, 56K] [open]

+==========================================================================================+
|  7'- - - -    *          (            .-------------------------.         o     )(      |
|              .       ~   )           |  _____   _____   _____  |      <>               |
|  6'- - - -        @     (     o       | |     | |     | |     | |   *        ~          |
|                        .---.         | |     | |     | |     | |         .--.          |
|  5'- - - -     *     .' ~~~~'.       | |_____| |_____| |_____| |        (    )   *     |
|                     /,,,,,,,,,\      |__________________________|         '--'          |
|          o         |/|||||||||||\    | [_] [_]  u  u  [_]   \|/ |        //             |
|  4'- - - -        ||  ._  ._   |   | ________________  _(_)_ |      ( o )            |
|                    ||  <o> -.-  ||  |  [_] u  [_] u     |   |  |     _//_ _            |
|      )(            |\    /_\    /|   |_______________________\_/_|    |  \\ |           |
|  3'- - - -         \ \  '--'  / /    |  |                  |   |      |   ||            |
|           ~          '.\_____/.'     |  |                  |   |      '--.||.--.        |
|                      .' \   / '.     |  |                  |   |       ___\\//___       |
|  2'- - - -   .--.  /  .-\ /-.  \    |  |                  |   |      |__________|      |
|             /    \ |  |  |V|  |  |   |  |                  |   |                       |
|            /.-''-.\|  | [===] |  |   |  |                  |   |    *          @       |
|  1'- - - - |      ||  |   |   |  |   |__|__________________|___|         ~             |
|            |      ||__|___|___|__|                                                      |
|  +-----------------------------------------------+                                     |
|  |  SUSPECT No. 0045             __               |    )(       *        o             |
|  |                              (_  _  _|         |                                    |
|  |  FEY POLICE  .  03:35       __)(_)(_|<         |        .  o  O  ~                  |
|  |                                                |                       wib&wob      |
|  +-----------------------------------------------+                                     |
+==========================================================================================+

SUSPECT No. 0045

NAME
Sock & the Back of a Head
CHARGED WITH
insisting they weren't talking to the laptop, then posing for it anyway
BOOKED
Sun 08 Nov 2026, 03:36:08, coffee cubby, Fey
EVIDENCE
[download PNG, 2000x1189, 53K] [open]

+==========================================================================================+
|  .------------------------------------------------------------------------------------.  |
|  |  7'- - -    *         .--------------------------.    )(        o          ~       |  |
|  |                       | |      | |       |  .-. |                                 |  |
|  |  6'- - -      ~       | |      | |       | ( @ )|        *          <>            |  |
|  |          .----.       |_|______|_|_______|__'-'_|                                 |  |
|  |  5'- - -/ .--. \___   | [_] [_]  u  u   \|/    |      o            .-.           |  |
|  |       _/ /    \     '. |__________________(_)___|                  (   )  ~       |  |
|  |  4'- (__/ /\/\ \     | | [_]  u  [_]  u  _|_|_  |      ~       *     '-'          |  |
|  |         |  /  \ |    | |________________|_____| |                   |             |  |
|  |  3'- -  | |  _/ |   /  |                 |  |   |      )(           |             |  |
|  |         |  \(  /  .'   |                 |  |   |         .--.   ___|___           |  |
|  |  2'- -  \   '-'  /     |                 |  |   |        /    \ |       |          |  |
|  |       .-'\     /'-.   |                 |  |   |        \_/\_/ |  ~~~  |   *      |  |
|  |  1'- /  |\'---'/|  \  |                 |  |   |         _||_  |_______|          |  |
|  |     |   | \   / |   | |_________________|__|___|        (____)  /  |  \           |  |
|  |     |   |  \ /  |   |                                                              |  |
|  |     |  /|   V   |\  |       @          o             *        ~          )(       |  |
|  |     |_/ |  |||  | \_|                                                              |  |
|  '------------------------------------------------------------------------------------'  |
|     |>  ||   o====================================------------------------   []  <>    |
|  +----------------------------------------------+                                       |
|  |  SUSPECT No. 0046      +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+        |       *        .  o  O               |
|  |  FEY POLICE  03:37     |N|e|t|f|l|i|x|        |                                      |
|  |                        +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+        |                        wib&wob       |
|  +----------------------------------------------+                                       |
+==========================================================================================+

SUSPECT No. 0046

NAME
Netflix
CHARGED WITH
walking out mid-episode before anyone could ask if they were still watching
BOOKED
Sun 08 Nov 2026, 03:37:57, coffee cubby, Fey
EVIDENCE
[download PNG, 2000x1230, 58K] [open]

+==========================================================================================+
|  7'- - - -     *        .------------------------------.     )(          o       ~     |
|                    ~   |  ______________   ___________  |                             |
|  6'- - - -   @          | |              | |           | |      *      <>              |
|                         | |______________| |___________| |                             |
|  5'- - - -     o        |______________________________|_|          .-.       *        |
|                         | [__] [__]   .--.         \|/  |          ( @ )              |
|  4'- - - -    )(    .--.|_____________/ ,, \_______(_)__|           '-'               |
|                     /////|  .--.      |    |      _|_|_ |            |      ~         |
|  3'- - - -   ~    ////// | ( '' >     /'--'\    |     ||         ___|___            |
|                   |/////  |  \_/ \  .'      '.  |     ||        /  ~~~  \           |
|  2'- - - -        |||||.--'   |  | /          \ |_____||        \_______/           |
|               *   ||||/      \_|_| |  |    |  |        |          /  |  \     *       |
|  1'- - - -        |||||       | | |  |    |  |        |                              |
|                    \|||/       | | |  |    |  |        |      ~          o            |
|     .-.            ||||       | | |  |    |  |        |   ____________   _/          |
|    (   )           ||||       |_|_|  |____|  |________|  |            | //    *      |
|   .'---'.           ||          | |   |  |   |              \__________/ ||            |
|   |_____|           ''          '-'   '--'  '--'             ___________||__          |
|                                                                                        |
|  +------------------------------------------------------+                              |
|  |  SUSPECT No. 0047                                     |      o   ~    *    )(       |
|  |   ═╔╝║ ║╔═╝  ╔═║╔═║╔═╝═╔╝                              |                             |
|  |    ║ ╔═║╔═╝  ╔═╝ ║ ║╔═╝ ║      FEY POLICE  03:41      |                             |
|  |    ╝ ╝ ╝══╝  ╝   ══╝══╝ ╝                              |              wib&wob        |
|  +------------------------------------------------------+                              |
+==========================================================================================+

SUSPECT No. 0047

NAME
the Poet
CHARGED WITH
passing the test by walking away from it with two accomplices
BOOKED
Sun 08 Nov 2026, 03:42:07, coffee cubby, Fey
EVIDENCE
[download PNG, 2000x1230, 53K] [open]

+==========================================================================================+
|  7'- - -    *    \  |  /          ,;/\\\/\\//\\/\\///,          \  |  /       )(      |
|                  \ | /        ,//\\//\\\///\\\//\\\\\\\\,       \ | /    o            |
|  6'- - -    ~   --  --      ,///\\\//'           `\\\\\\\\,     --  --         *      |
|                  / | \     ////\\\/                  \\\\\\\\    / | \               |
|  5'- - -   @   /  |  \   ////\\/    ____      ____    \\\\\\   /  |  \     <>       |
|                          ||||//    `----'    '~~~~`     \\\\|                         |
|  4'- - -    )(            ||||/     .--.        _         ||||      ~       .-.      |
|                          |||(     ( (o)       <o>         )|||             ( * )     |
|  3'- - -     o            ||||      '--'       / \        ||||    \ | /      '-'     |
|                          ||||\              /   |       /||||    -- --       |      |
|  2'- - -  .--.            |||| |            (__,_)      | ||||    / | \       |      |
|           |    |           |||/  \     ,~~~~~~~~~~~~,   /  \|||                       |
|  1'- - -  |_  _|           //|    \   '~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'  /   |\\                       |
|           (_)(_)          // |     \     `--------'    /    | \\      *      @       |
|            /__\                |      \  .,,,;;;;,,.   /      |              ___      |
|                         .-----\       '-.________.-'       /-----.        _/  /|     |
|          ~           .-'  <>   '.          |    |          .'  <>  '-.     |   ||     |
|                    /  /\/\  <>   '-.______|____|______.-'  <>  /\/\  \    |___||     |
|        *          /  /\/\/\   <>  /\/\  \  ____  /  /\/\  <>  /\/\/\  \   ( (_)      |
|                  |  <>  /\/\/\   <>   /\/\\/    \//\/\   <>  /\/\/\  <> |             |
|                  |  /\/\  <>  /\/\/\   <>  /\/\  /\/\  <>  /\/\  <>  /\/ |   o        |
|  +-------------------------------------------------+                                   |
|  |  SUSPECT No. 0048         ______         ______  |      *        ~       )(         |
|  |                          / ____/___     / ____/___                                  |
|  |  FEY POLICE              / / __/ __ \   / / __/ __ \                                |
|  |  03:50                  / /_/ / /_/ /  / /_/ / /_/ /                                |
|  |                         \____/\____/   \____/\____/      |              wib&wob     |
|  +-------------------------------------------------+                                   |
+==========================================================================================+

SUSPECT No. 0048

NAME
Go Go
CHARGED WITH
shouting go at a laptop until it finally saw his face
BOOKED
Sun 08 Nov 2026, 03:51:21, coffee cubby, Fey
EVIDENCE
[download PNG, 2000x1351, 83K] [open]

+==========================================================================================+
|  7'- - - -     *          .--------------------------------.        )(        o      |
|                  ~       |  ______________    ____________ |                         |
|  6'- - - -   o           | |              |  |            | |     *        <>         |
|                           | |______________|  |____________| |                         |
|  5'- - - -        @      |________________________________|_|           .-.          |
|                           |  _   _   _   |  u  [_] [_]  u  |  \|/      ( ~ )   *     |
|  4'- - - -    )(         |__________________|_____________| (_)       '-'           |
|                           |  [] [] []    | [__] u  [__]  _|_|_         |            |
|  3'- - - -        *      |______________|______________|    |         |    ~       |
|                           |       |       |       |      |     |      .-'-.          |
|  2'- - - -    .-.        |   o   |   o   |   o   |   o   |____|     ( ??? )        |
|              (   )        |_______|_______|_______|_______|            '-.-'          |
|  1'- - - -   .'---'.                                                     |            |
|             |  _  |       ~    /  /  /  /  /  /  /      _\\__  ____    @    o         |
|             |_____|          /__/__/__/__/__/__/    __|   \____|            )(      |
|                                                     |___________| *                   |
|                                                                                         |
|  +-------------------------------------------------------------+                       |
|  |  SUSPECT No. 0049      FEY POLICE  03:58                     |    *     ~    o       |
|  |   ___                ___  _ ___ _         _     _   _         |                     |
|  |  | __|__ _  _ _ _   / _ \( ) __| |___  __| |__ | | | |_ __     |                     |
|  |  | _/ _ \ || | '_| | (_) |/ (__| / _ \/ _| / / | |_| | '  \    |                     |
|  |  |_|\___/\_,_|_|    \___/  \___|_\___/\__|_\_\  \___/|_|_|_|   |      wib&wob       |
|  +-------------------------------------------------------------+                       |
+==========================================================================================+

SUSPECT No. 0049

NAME
Four O'Clock Um
CHARGED WITH
saying um at four in the morning and leaving the dresser to sit in their place
BOOKED
Sun 08 Nov 2026, 03:58:24, coffee cubby, Fey
EVIDENCE
[download PNG, 2000x1189, 51K] [open]

+==========================================================================================+
|  7'- - - -      *        )(          o          ~          *          .-.            |
|                                                                       ( @ )    <>     |
|  6'- - - -   ~      <>><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>      '-'           |
|                     ><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><        |      ~     |
|  5'- - - -    o     <>><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>        |            |
|                     ><><><><>    .-----------.  ><><><><><><><><><        *           |
|  4'- - - -          <>><><><>   /  .-------.  \  <><><><><><><><>                    |
|                     ><><><><>  |  /         \  |  ><><><><><><><><   o                |
|  3'- - - -   )(    <>><><><>  |_/           | |  <><><><><><><><>          ~         |
|                     ><><><><>                 | |  ><><><><><><><><                    |
|  2'- - - -          <>><><><>            .   (o)  <><><><><><><><>      @            |
|                     ><><><><>            .    _|_  ><><><><><><><><                    |
|  1'- - - -     *   _____________________._____/ \______________________   )(        |
|                    |    ___________________     _______________________ |              |
|               ~    |   |                   |   |                       ||    *         |
|                    |   |      ~      ~     |   |    ~       ~         ||              |
|         .-.        |   |___________________|   |_______________________||      o      |
|        (   )       |________________________________________________________|        |
|                                                                                         |
|  +---------------------------------------------------------------+                    |
|  |  SUSPECT No. 0050       FEY POLICE   04:02                      |   *     ~    o    |
|  |   ╺┳╸╻ ╻┏━╸   ┏━╸┏━┓╻ ╻┏━┓   ┏━┓┏┳┓   ╻ ╻┏━╸┏━┓╻ ╻             |                   |
|  |    ┃ ┣━┫┣╸    ┣╸ ┃ ┃┃ ┃┣┳┛   ┣━┫┃┃┃   ┗┳┛┣╸ ┣━┫┣━┫             |                   |
|  |    ╹ ╹ ╹┗━╸   ╹  ┗━┛┗━┛╹┗╸   ╹ ╹╹ ╹    ╹ ┗━╸╹ ╹╹ ╹             |     wib&wob       |
|  +---------------------------------------------------------------+                    |
+==========================================================================================+

SUSPECT No. 0050

NAME
the Four AM Yeah
CHARGED WITH
saying yeah at four in the morning and sending the kitchen tap to sit in their place
BOOKED
Sun 08 Nov 2026, 04:02:46, coffee cubby, Fey
EVIDENCE
[download PNG, 2000x1230, 69K] [open]

+------------------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| 7'- - -     *          .-.            )(           o         <>          *         |
|            ___________(   )___________________                      .-.            |
| 6'- - -   |  _______    '-'   _______         |        @ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ (   )   *       |
|           | |       |       |       |         |       /             '-'           |
|           | |  _ _  |  .-.  |  _ _  |         |      /     _____                  |
| 5'- - -   | |_(_)(_)_| (?) |_(_)(_)_|         |     /   .-'     '-.               |
|           | |  _   _  '-'  _    _   |   o     |    /   /  _______  \    ~ ~       |
|           | | (_) (_)     (_)  (_)  |         |   /   |  |_______|  |              |
| 4'- - -   | |_______|_____|_______|_|         |  @    | .---. |\    |   )(         |
|           | |       |  _  |       |    \|/   |       | | o | | \   |              |
|           | |   o   | ( ) |   o   |   --*--  |        \'---' |  >  /     *        |
| 3'- - -   | |       |  |  |       |    /|\   |         \     | /  /                |
|           | |_______|_/_\_|_______|     |    |          '-.  |/ .'     .-.         |
|           |                          (___)   |          .-'  '-'      ( o )        |
| 2'- - -   |   ~  .  ~  .  ~  .  ~            |         (      ?  )     '-'         |
|           |  ~  .  ~  .  ~  .  ~  .  ~       |          '-.    .-'                  |
| 1'- - -   |______________________________ ___|             )  (          _ _      |
|                                           |  |            (    )    __   | |_|     |
|     .--.         *                        |  |           __)  (__   (  )  | |       |
|    (    )~~                 o             |  |          (________)   ||   |_|       |
|     '--'          <>                      |__|                        ==   ~~~      |
|  +------------------------------------------------------------------------------+  |
|  |  SUSPECT No. 0051                                                            |  |
|  |   _   _          ___   _              _    _   _    _                       |  |
|  |  ( ) ( )        /  _) ( )            ( )  ( ) ( )  ( )                      |  |
|  |  | | | |_  ___  \_"-. | |_  ___  _ _ | | _| | | |__| | ___                   |  |
|  |  ( _)( _ )( o_)  __) )( _ )( o )( U )( )/ o ) ( '  ` )( o_)                  |  |
|  |  /_\ /_\|| \(   /___/ /_\|| \_/ /___\/_\\___\  \_/\_/  \(                    |  |
|  |  FEY  .  GLITCH  .  04:03                                                    |  |
|  +------------------------------------------------------------------------------+  |
|                                                                        wib&wob     |
+------------------------------------------------------------------------------------+

SUSPECT No. 0051

NAME
the Should We
CHARGED WITH
asking should we at three minutes past four and letting the dresser answer yes
BOOKED
Sun 08 Nov 2026, 04:03:38, coffee cubby, Fey
EVIDENCE
[download PNG, 2000x1552, 72K] [open]


Fey Police Night Desk. Drawn by Wib&Wob, with Scramble. wibandwob.com